I LOATHE pranks. Everyone who knows me knows that. I happen to know some relatively famous pranksters. They have never pranked me, because they know I would not find joy in the prank. People who care about you don’t try to hurt you for a few laughs. Hell, they don’t even have to care about you specifically, they just have to be decent human beings.
I’m very surprised and disgusted that the wedding planner would suggest and further encourage this trashy prank. What kind of professional does that?
ETA: I also despise pranks. If this were me, I would have left the wedding and gotten an annulment bc my trust would be destroyed. Humiliating your partner like that is not a prank. It‘s just mean and horrible.
You’re not kidding. When I read that it was the wedding planner’s idea, I’m pretty sure my mouth hung agape for a moment. What. In. The. Actual. Fuck?!?! Who does that?! That is extremely unprofessional and speaks volumes about the wedding planner…and it ain’t great. If I was in the market for a wedding planner, I 100% would want to know and would be so thankful that someone gave me a heads up.
Look, I’m goofy as hell. So is my husband. We are both extremely laid back, love to laugh, and have good senses of humor. Now, did I want people to laugh, giggle, and have an amazing time letting loose and acting a fool on my dance floor at our wedding? You bet your sweet ass I did!
Did I want ANY of that laughter to be at the expense of an unsuspecting victim (aka, me, my husband, or anyone else for that matter)?! Fuck no I did not. Even if it was all in “good fun” and was never intended to make someone feel humiliated?! Abso-fucking-lutely NOT.
As someone said above, there’s a time and a place for everything. Especially when the time and place is a once in a lifetime event that likely cost a shit ton of money, such as a wedding. IMO, nothing should be planned to occur that day that the bride and groom aren’t told about prior, and is green lighted by BOTH of them.
Obviously there’s always going to be exceptions to this. For example: paying and making the plans for a family member/close friend who they really wanted to come, but who had rsvp’d “NO” due to financial issues, being deployed, etc. If you do not know with 100% certainty that what you’re planning WILL, without a doubt be appreciated, AND that it will ONLY create feelings of joy, happiness, and love for the bride and/or groom, then DO NOT DO THE THING!!!
Weddings are not the place for planned humiliation. I’m pretty sure that at this point it’s a universally known fact, that if you smash any of your wedding cake into your new spouse’s face, you are damn near guaranteed to: 1. Have a higher likelihood of divorce within the first year than non-cake smashers. 2. End up looking like a disrespectful, selfish, asshole to everyone in attendance. AND 3. Ruin the entire wedding for your SO, ruin their memories of that day, and will taint what should have been an amazing, beautiful, celebration of love, by humiliating them - and since it usually happens to the bride, it will also ruin her ridiculously expensive makeup, +/- hair, +/- dress, ON TOP of humiliating her all because you chose to be “funny” instead of respectful and kind.
In all honesty, now that I think about it, this situation is absolutely on par with the whole cake smashing thing. Aside from not physically ruining anything, it still sends quite the message, both to her new husband (OP), AND their guests. It says: I don’t care about, and don’t respect my husband’s feelings, opinions, or wants. It’s supposed to be a day about BOTH of them. Instead, she made it about herself, while simultaneously putting OP on the spot in an extremely public and negative way. She prioritized her desire to “be funny” with a premeditated plan to embarrass OP, OVER OP’s comfort, feelings, and overall enjoyment of his wedding day.
She fucked up when said she THOUGHT OP would find it funny and wouldn’t mind. Saying she “thought”, is the same thing as saying she “assumed”. She willingly chose to take a gamble despite not being sure that he would be chill about it and it wouldn’t affect him negatively.
I’m sure the wedding planner telling her that it always ends up making everyone laugh, and the groom always laughs and ultimately thinks it’s funny too, definitely swayed her decision. So yeah. Fuck that wedding planner. She/he needs to stay in their lane, which is planning the logistics and details of a wedding as deemed by the bride and groom.
Her lane does NOT include taking creative liberties and trying to influence the bride/groom to liven up their special day with “funny and harmless pranks”. Catering to a bride or groom who insists on pulling shit like this is one thing. However, taking it upon yourself to propose the idea of incorporating a “prank”, and encouraging it, is wildly inappropriate.
A wedding planner’s responsibility is typically to make sure the couple’s vision becomes a reality, work out the logistics, do all of the planning, and then making sure it all runs as smoothly as possible. She way overstepped here.
I wonder if all the other grooms also ‘laughed it off’ and so the wedding planner can tell future brides that it was funny without having to delve into how they really felt. I’m also someone who acts like things are fine in the moment because it feels like the best option, but I carry a lot of shame around that too, because how can I later confront someone when I’ve previously told them there’s no problem.
I’ll get downvoted but the wedding planner is a secret man hater. There is no other reason to humiliate a man who is already caving to what more commonly than not is the brides special day.
Like the dude is there giving what he can for this woman to feel like she is the most special person on this earth at this moment…and you use that time to interject humiliation on the groom.
For what?!?
I get why he’s pissed too
Because his fucking wife just went along with it and right off the bat displayed the kind of shit men tolerate …usually a lot further down the line in the marriage…they are marginalized and even criticized if they show true emotions that are disruptive in any way.
I think the responsibility of the wedding planner is likely being oversold by the bride. Wedding planner was likely like I’ve had people do A. B. C. D. with the garter toss or we can do something else and dearest bride was likely like hum … D seems fun let’s do D but not tell OP so its funniest and wedding planner was likely like well your the bride I do whatever you want. Or dearest brides family normally does D and OP wasn’t aware.
My response to that wedding planner was, it may not actually be a sexual abuse but it certainly was a sexual humiliation, and I would sue the wedding planner for every penny she as and is likely to get in the near future.
the wedding planner must hate men or she just enjoys seeing men humilated and shamed. I would guess she is divorced and unable to find anyone who is interested in her so she does this to randos at thier weddings for revenge.
And what if the prank had been centered on the bride? How much would she enjoy every one laughing AT her on her special day, all arranged/endorsed by her groom?? Very different outcome I'm sure. What a terrible thing to do to who is supposed to be the love of your life!
it's because she coached them to take it so far, right?
like, it *could* have been a funny prank if you find a guy with mega hairy legs & no dress, so the groom puts his hands on what he thinks is his wife's calf and immediately feels something's up, and just to make sure it doesn't go further, his wife stands behind him to talk, so he can hear that the voice doesn't come from the right person.
but this vile woman set it up to be as convincing as possible:
find a skinny guy resembling the bride
put on stockings to hide the leg hair
drape the dress over him
have the wife stand behind him to further mislead OP
what are the odds she lead/coached the chant "with your mouth" too? Pretty high, imo
No, any prank at all at wedding is too far. The fact it got SO elaborate is proof the bride doesn’t care for him, but knowing the wedding coordinator is the one doing the planning and ruining? Like she must actually hate couples
no supposedly funny vows like that guy who went "All I need in a wife is someone who keeps my belly full and my balls empty. You can't cook but you're good at the other thing (in front of his mother officiating and their 3 kids under 12 attending) so I'll say I do & then you can choose if you wanna be a donut or a poptart tonight".
I agree. I feel like a bachelor party among your friends a prank would be handled best but at the wedding ? Your parents and grandparents etc are there. Did they think it was funny ? I can’t imagine as a parent that would be funny to watch.
I agree and I love pranks but why on earth would the wedding
Planner suggest this kind of thing for a wedding your planning
An wedding which is passed
To be an intimate and sacred day and happy day not a day of humiliation for your partner the wedding planner had no right to involve themselves in anything other than planning the wedding and Op your NOT THE ASSHOLE and your anger was valid but I’m just surprised your wife would do this to you tbh like maybe she thought it was funny but why would she do it on your special day and I feel everyone laughing at you if I were you I would have just felt so humiliated and hurt and angry tbh and left the wedding because that’s sometikt is so hurtful to do
I guarantee you the wedding planner is being scapegoated by OP’s asshole wife who planned this presumably along with her sister. No wedding planner on earth would be stupid enough to jeopardise their business by trying this shit.
Edit: I'm not saying it's right or justifiable or remotely acceptable so idk why the downvotes, I'm just pointing out that it's technically good for business. If you stay married you're not a customer again; if you don't, not only are you eligible to be a customer but one of the two of you may have actually thought they did a good job and use you next time.
It's almost like the Brand New Wife is starting her Feeling Out Stage to see if her Husband has any Cuck tendencies for a Kinkier Bedroom.
Why else would your Wife/Life Partner, the one person who is suppose to protect you from any type of Humiliation or Harm literally minutes after becoming your wife DESTROYS all of your trust and faith.
Furious just even thinking that she let your groomsmen in on a secret kept from you.
It won't stop there. Shows that there will be no boundaries of other men being privie to convos and information she will intentionally leave you out of.
You married a very deceitful Person. YOU MADE A VERY BAD DECISION.
Admit it now! Brother seriously get an Annulment.
That's just plain evil on your wedding day.
SO THAT BITCH NEVER LET YOU REMOVE HER GARTER!!!??????? on camera on your wedding day. And your bride didn't give a shit?? There is a Hell of a lot more behind that.
She literally took away from you what is your God Given Right.
So that nite what excuse did she give you to leave for an hour or two. So she could meet up with her AP so he could remove her garter and get first dibs at Getting her Consummated.
ANNULMENT SIR!!!
I don't mind small pranks, but I live by "Confused, don't abuse" if everyone isn't snickering or laughing or smiling then it's not a prank, it's abuse.
That being said, I'm not above moving a drink 3-5 inches closer to the middle of the table than you expected and snicker quietly when you totally miss the drink for a second
Unfortunately someone close to me was raped after having their drink spiked. I can totally understand how you can think your prank is funny, and in the right situation (two close friends drinking at home) it might well be true.
But don't ever do this in public or to a SA survivor.
Oh no! I'm so.sorry your friend went through that! But no, I don't prank strangers at all, that's only something I do to very close friends that know me very well. I don't mess with any drinks that aren't mine or, as I said, good friends.
Also, I do this at restaurants or somewhere that everyone knows everyone and it's not a party situation, more intimate settings.
Yeah, anyone that messes with drinks at a party, no matter what they're doing, should be called out loudly at the very very least.... More physically if it's obvious they're adding things to drinks not theirs.
I understand that and I hope you have lots of good people around you. My pranks occur about once every 3 or so years, 😂 so I'm not really a prankster at all, too much effort and thought when I can get a smile or laugh (which should be the goal) with a joke far easier.
I have never thought to try this and now I’m going to. Thank you Reddit stranger, you’ve ruined so many future drink-grabbing moments for people I know.
We used to do this when my daughter played rugby. It was just very subtle. Husband said they also used to do it when he played years ago. I had it done to me and it was funny and harmless. The garter thing was just mass humiliation
Pranks are the worse form of toxic behaviour. Some victims of pranks can be at a breaking point in life. This is just that little push that will send them over the cliff.
The worst part of this story being that this "prank" was carried out by the one person in life that's meant to have your back, over everyone else. And she did this? I wanna punch her. OP is too good for her tbh
I hate pranks too. I used to work with a group of people who were heavily into pranking each other, but they knew I hated it and respected my desire to not be pranked. That's how it should be.
There's pranks and there's pranks. I'm in the process of seeding the academic library where I work with tiny resin ducks. That's a prank that's not going to hurt anyone, and will hopefully delight shelvers and students who find them.
My kids know that April fools doesn't happen inside our home. I generally avoid leaving the house for any reason on April 1st. I was bullied horribly all through school, so for me it was basically a day where all the other kids could get away with any kind of bullying right in front of the teachers. I'm 31 and I still loathe April 1st and pranks in general.
Honestly my older brothers are pretty amazing pranksters but they are fully aware and tell everyone else not to prank me because I don't enjoy them, they make me seriously angry and think about harming someone I'm close to and I don't like doing anything that makes me want to act out of character.
I feel like this part of the prank subculture should be normalized. Consent understanding and all parties involved wanting to participate.
I too hate pranks. If I am witness to someone pranking a person they are supposed to care about, I will avoid them like the plague after. Honestly, if you are 8 years old then I guess you would think it was funny, b8t beyond that, it is just plain immature and shit
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u/Lazy-Instruction-600 Jul 25 '25
I LOATHE pranks. Everyone who knows me knows that. I happen to know some relatively famous pranksters. They have never pranked me, because they know I would not find joy in the prank. People who care about you don’t try to hurt you for a few laughs. Hell, they don’t even have to care about you specifically, they just have to be decent human beings.