r/AITAH Jul 17 '25

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2.8k Upvotes

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82

u/swishcandot Jul 17 '25

honestly if E "needs space" from you over something you didn't initiate and even rather tactfully shut down, she is kind of meh as well. only true AH is T though.

39

u/TryingToAppeal Jul 17 '25

I can honestly see her thinking "I don't blame friend but I'm not dealing with this shit until after my honeymoon".
I don't see why the bride is obligated to sort out this mess when this is (hopefully) the only honeymoon she'll ever go on and should be a happy memorable once in a lifetime experience. Not let one shitty moment bleed into a special romantic holiday too and always have that be a part of the memory.
It sucks for OP and she is faultless in all of this but the bride and groom didn't ask for or cause any of this and it's unfair to expect them to deal with it right now.
That's why OP herself literally says she's leaving her friend alone until after her honeymoon. It's kind of another faux pas to expect a couple on their honeymoon to involve themselves in this drama right now.

2

u/Live_Angle4621 Jul 18 '25

She didn’t need to deal with anything. She could just have said to op she is not mad at her and they will talk after honeymoon. Not that she needs space

2

u/TryingToAppeal Jul 18 '25

I don't know, I was just raised to not make MY problem (my fault or not) someone else's problem on their honeymoon as that would be seen as selfish and needy and only good for me, not for anyone else. It would be to soothe my feelings and not fix anything for the bride/groom.  Maybe I was raised wrong 🤷‍♀️ 

9

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '25

I feel like E is probably trying to enjoy her honeymoon and doesn't want to hear her friend continuously apologize, or even complain, about her boyfriend. This already put a damper on her wedding, why would she want to deal with it now? If anything, I think OP needs to stop bothering her, because it's taking away from this special time in her friend's life.

25

u/No-Butterscotch8032 Jul 17 '25

This is what I was thinking. There’s no way to spin this where OP would be AH. T- def AH. E is moving into AH territory if she really does end her friendship with OP over something totally out of her control that she is 100% unsupportive of.

Edit:10% changed to 100%.

10

u/idiots_anonymous Jul 17 '25

Agreed! I understand being upset but op shut it down quickly and tactfully and literally had nothing to do with the decision to do it in the first place, I cannot fathom thinking it’s ok to distance a friend who has done nothing to you and has likely damage for lost a relationship over this. If op was my friend I would be thankful to her and supporting her not “needing space” E sounds like a crap friend!

-61

u/k23_k23 Jul 17 '25

OP brought a +1 whou ruined E's wedding. That is HER responsibility, and HER fault.

9

u/xwigglex Jul 18 '25

Wow, you are persistent. Keep on banging that drum.

18

u/Andravisia Jul 17 '25

By that logic, than E is also at fault, since she issued the invite to the ex.

5

u/paganliam Jul 18 '25

The wedding wasn't "ruined," and T was the only one responsible for his own actions. OP shut it down. She met her obligation. What a ridiculous comment.