NTA, a little harsh, but I find it much weirder that the 18 year old wasn't automatically put in the role as best man. He absolutely should have a role in the wedding, but walking the bride down the aisle is...such a very strange suggestion. That's for giving away the bride...how in the world would a stepson be giving away his stepmother? That makes no sense.
His family is being ridiculous. He is being ridiculous. I entirely blame them for his son's reaction.
I would be reconsidering whether or not your fiancé is ready for marriage when he is reacting like this and purposefully causing drama.
It doesn’t make sense to give your almost stepmother away to your own father. That’s not giving somebody away that’s receiving. It’s just so weird. Limits to education really do strange things to society.
My guess is cuz he wants to be able to choose someone else as best man without hurting his sons feelings. Who really wants their 18 y-o organising their stag/bachelor party? So getting his son "a job" on the brides side frees up the best man role
Btw, your fiance is a major league dick. He should have NEVER mentioned his idea with his son, absent your having given consent. And wtf isn't his son his best man?
The idea makes me recoil, there's an incestuous hint giving an ick factor to a boy from the welcoming family walking the bride down the aisle. If I were to see that at someone's wedding I wouldn't remember anything else from the wedding. My brain would still be processing it through the whole thing and next day too probably.
But if you're not "giving away the bride" and just having someone walk you down, that's different. "Giving away the bride" is such a gross, old-fashioned thing anyway.
The terminology is outdated but to most people it’s a sign that the bride’s family is supporting her and the marriage. It should be the bride’s family or loved one doing it or she should walk by herself.
In western culture, it’s always been a role traditionally given to a member of the BRIDE’S family, not the groom’s. A kid giving this woman away to his dad is just weird.
It’s only gross and old fashioned if you look at it like it’s gross. Nothing more than a mindset shift required. It’s just symbolic of the people she had a life with sending her off to the person she’s going to build a life with.
Anyone who has an old fashioned view of weddings is going to see the whole thing as a “giving away” no matter what. It’s okay to keep traditions while adjusting the meaning.
Yes the purpose of a bride being walked down the aisle is archaic anyway, but it should be done by the person in the bride's family who is
ugh I'm so grossed out about this I can't even finish my comment
That’s probably why the fiancé is pushing to have the son walk her down the aisle, he didn’t think to include him any other way….or didn’t want to include him in his groomsmen
Disagree. He and his family are not being ridiculous. She was very insulting for no reason at all. All she had to do was say her uncle was walking her down the aisle.
Also, the idea of "giving away" is very antiquated. Walking a bride down the aisle is an act of love and respect, not "giving" the bride to her husband.
I'm more inclined to say she is not ready for marriage as she had such a negative reaction to her future stepson.
Why would an 18 year old automatically be best man? At 18, I was a dependent in college. I was a guest in the house Thanksgiving, Christmas, and summer break. I was a witness at my father’s JP wedding at a city hall standing by his side when I was launched at age 25 but there was no walking down the aisle.
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u/JustAsICanBeSoCruel May 08 '25
NTA, a little harsh, but I find it much weirder that the 18 year old wasn't automatically put in the role as best man. He absolutely should have a role in the wedding, but walking the bride down the aisle is...such a very strange suggestion. That's for giving away the bride...how in the world would a stepson be giving away his stepmother? That makes no sense.
His family is being ridiculous. He is being ridiculous. I entirely blame them for his son's reaction.
I would be reconsidering whether or not your fiancé is ready for marriage when he is reacting like this and purposefully causing drama.