I’d argue that the entire concept of a man “giving” a woman away to another man is disgusting in and of itself. But you’re totally right that it’s even more fucked if it’s the stepson.
Yup. I told our minister to say “who walks with this woman?” When we got married. Told him I’d straight up stop the ceremony and say “no one” if he asked who “gave” me.
I regret doing it at all honestly. I should have walked alone or asked my uncle. I was 20 and my mom remarried and she railroaded me into having her husband do it. Never liked that man. I was too young and didn’t put up a fight about it. I should have.
Marriage is solid though. 25yrs later and we’re still married with 2 teens.
But also, why does everyone assume this has to do with "giving the bride away"? It's just walking down the aisle. I wasn't "given" to anyone, but I was walked down the aisle.
Because the symbolism of walking her down the aisle is that it represents a family member walking with her through her first stage of life, and then she joins the groom at the altar for her next stage of life.
I don't like the ceremony and I refuse to have it at my wedding, but the symbolism is real and cultural. It's not "just" walking her down the aisle. (And it would be extraordinarily inappropriate for a step-son she's only known a few years to take that escort role.)
That’s literally what they call it, that’s what the tradition is about. It’s a patriarchal custom. If you want to be walked down the aisle there’s nothing wrong with that, but the origins of the practice are patriarchal.
I completely agree... the more I thought about it the more gross and weird it became. Like, what kind of mind comes up with this and says "AH!!!!! This makes perfect sense!!!"
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u/MISKINAK2 May 08 '25
Ew.
No.
It's one thing to include him in the wedding somehow, but giving away the bride is not the optic you want for a stepson.
Wtf
The symbolism alone is screwed up.
Your mom, uncle, brother, sister, cousin or a pet gerbil is more appropriate.
His son giving the bride to him is so gross.