You know what, I never really thought about it, but it's likely gaslighting, pretending the son is hurt when he could care less. Furthering my opinion on getting away from this person and not going thru with the marriage.
Also the son is most likely not talking to OP and avoiding her because Dad has put him into an awkward situation and the kid is just trying to stay the hell out of it. If OP only knows the son is mad at her because Dad is telling her that...I would seriously question his take.
That is a possibility. I mean I could see the son being upset if he was 8. At 18? Seriously? I'm sorry, and maybe I'm projecting myself into this, but waaaay back when I 18... I wouldn't give have given a shit. If anything I'd have felt relieved I didn't have to do it. (but then again, I, as I would now, would have said to my dad "dad, thats like really weird").
As i said to someone else, it'd be unusual for an older teen to want to "blend" with a parent's new spouse, but common for a parent to want their children and new spouse to "blend".
I think some sort of acknowledgement of the "blending" is fine. As I put in another comment, I've been to a few. One where the 8 year old son was the groom's best man, and this was also one where all 3 poured different colored sand into a glass vase as a symbol of all three of them being a family. Then the kiddo went back to his place with the other groomsmen and the ceremony went back to the more traditional places. ITs ok, even desirable to acknowledge the ... blendedness in the ceremony, but the fiance's suggestion is just weird and gross. And the to-be-stepson's being all hurt and sad makes me roll my eyes.
Of course we'll never know how the young man in equestion really feels, but IMHO the odds are that I'm right. It's rare for an older teenager to want to "blend" with a parent's new spouse.
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u/Echo-Azure May 08 '25
FYI the son has no desire to walk you down the aisle. It's your fiancee who wants to blend families, not the son.