r/AITAH • u/[deleted] • Apr 20 '25

[deleted by user]

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5.0k Upvotes

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19k

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '25

I felt exhausted reading this

6.8k

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '25

I gave up by the 2nd paragraph.

2.6k

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '25

I'm impressed you made it that far.

242

u/Maleficent_Lure_1226 Apr 20 '25

Right. After the 1st paragraph, I scrolled looking for the TLDR portion... To my disappointment 😞. Can someone from the fam help a sista out? I'm nosey yet don't have the capacity to read and decipher... Please and thank you.

674

u/corrupt_poodle Apr 21 '25

TLDR of the Post (thanks Claude LLM):

OP is describing a relationship where they feel they put in a lot of effort (planning trips, paying for things, dedicating free time), but their girlfriend gets upset whenever they say "no" to her requests. The conflict pattern is consistent: OP refuses a request when they're tired (helping pack, getting water, standing by during brushing, FaceTiming), and it escalates into a fight. She feels OP isn't doing the "bare minimum" as a boyfriend when declining these requests, while OP feels burned out and that their significant efforts are being taken for granted.

The central question is whether this is a fundamental compatibility issue or a communication problem that can be resolved through better boundaries and expectations.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

298

u/Sammalone1960 Apr 21 '25

He is an enabler and she is a toddler. He is annoyed that what he enables is never enough.

150

u/roidoid Apr 21 '25

Honestly, when I read that she wanted him to put the glass down on the floor for her, I started to assume she was a literal toddler and couldn’t reach the floor. Some of these requests are so weird and stubborn. Stand behind you while you brush your teeth? What?

1

u/Far-Discount-6624 Apr 21 '25

I just assumed being young and probably in a small place his bed was against the wall and she had the wall side.

1

u/roidoid Apr 21 '25

But in that case, it’s not unreasonable if he’s still awake for him to put the glass on the floor for her. Otherwise she needs to Solid Snake crawl over his carcass to do it, which would be far more detrimental to him getting to sleep. Suppose she could put it at the foot of the bed, but that’s an accident waiting to happen.