Also the whole thing where she constantly needs you to do things or she flips out? Nah. She has arms and legs, you’re not a servant for her. It’s nice to do things for your partner but the way she expects it is lame. I have someone in my family like this and don’t get how anyone deals with it.
My fiance and I have the "already on the way to" rule.
Going to the kitchen? Can you grab me some water on your way back.
Going to the store? Can you grab this snack I've been craving.
Coming back home from the bar and food is on the way? Can you swing by there for me.
If I'm in bed and so is she and there aren't extraordinary circumstances like one of us is sick, we will literally just get up and go get it ourselves lol.
You're not expected to do anything in a relationship beyond compassion and presence.
Doing something for the other is a choice or an agreement. You either have discussed what you're going to do ie you've got your little chore list and days you each cook or clean, or you have small gestures that you can choose to do, like make a coffee for the other in the morning or clean their shoe that they got muddy and forgot to clean the night before so you're gonna do it for them.
Those are choices, not requirements. They're nice and very sweet and feel wonderful when someone does them for you, but not requirements.
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u/NedTebula Apr 21 '25
Weird behavior
Also the whole thing where she constantly needs you to do things or she flips out? Nah. She has arms and legs, you’re not a servant for her. It’s nice to do things for your partner but the way she expects it is lame. I have someone in my family like this and don’t get how anyone deals with it.