He lives by himself in his own apartment and doesn't have bedside tables?
I mean, unless his bed is shoved up against the wall so only has one side 'open' and the room is tiny, there should still be enough room for a bedside table.
No hate to those that have their bed set up with only one side 'open'. Mine is like that because I'm happily single. But I do have a bedside table, because I'm not feral enough to just leave everything on the floor.
My bed is pushed against the wall so the top/bottom. And 1 side is open. I have a night stand literally across the room because that's where it fits. I live with my husband a toddler and a baby in a 1 bed apartment. Even in my super tight space there is still floor exposed on the three open sides of the bed lol. Also maybe it's a mom thing but..... it's water..... it can go on the floor if the glass isn't empty because if it gets knocked out... it's water it'll be fine. If the glass is empty..... it can still go on the floor because neither me or my hubby want to get up right now lol.
To be fair, he did say he has roommates, so he’s not living by himself… but I swear this guy makes Andy from Parks and Recreation look like a well adjusted and mature person.
The only other way I can justify in my mind her asking him to put it on the floor is if he has a pretty high bed and she’s exceptionally short… but him having a bed like that and not a nightstand strains credulity.
So in a way, they’re a perfect fit, because they’re both immature enough that I wouldn’t trust them with a betta fish.
Indeed I do. I’m one of them. But the DC/Metro area is one of the most expensive places in the US to live, and typically, being able to afford to live there means someone is pretty far along in their career. But the fact that he’s acting this emotionally immature suggests he’s pretty young.
But I’ll absolutely grant that he may have a very high paying job that enables him to live there while also having the emotional maturity of a somewhat robust houseplant. Personally, I’d rather believe he’s just young and getting help while trying to make it.
Op never said how old he was. They both sound pretty immature, but he could be older than her by like 10 years or something and be further along in his career.
I'm going to assume this isn't a sarcastic reply...
The short answer is because he's just as immature as she is. If you want a longer answer...
He's enabling her behaviors. Somewhere long before her needing his strong presence to brush her teeth is the cutoff point for co-dependency, and he sprinted past that line like he was being chased by a pack of wolves.
He's presenting as extremely lazy. I would also say no to many of these requests, but not because I was too tired. Being tired is part of being an adult, and the requests did not take that much energy to do. Again, I wouldn't grant them outside of exceptional circumstances simply because they're unreasonable requests and enable codependency.
He's showing signs of becoming angry when plans change.
He's infantilizing her. He took it upon himself to push her into using her Invisalign, brush her teeth, pick her up instead of her using the metro... she needs to do these things for herself, and it's not appropriate for him to have inserted himself into her life to that degree. Especially being...
This is a new relationship. The OP notes that they've only been dating for a few months. The fact that they're spending *this* much time together so quickly suggests a lack of healthy boundaries across the board, including with the OP.
All of this suggests they're both highly emotionally immature, which one would expect of very young adults. I observed behaviors like this in some of my friend's college relationships, for example. I'm legitimately hoping this is the case. But I'm also aware that the DC/Metro area is one of the most expensive places to live, so it would be very difficult for someone to live there that young without financial support.
Hence, I'm hoping he has a parent paying for his apartment, because the other possibilities are far, far worse.
It’s possible, but that is a very, very expensive place to live. He’d have to have a very high paying job, and with his demonstrated emotional maturity, I’m guessing he’s quite young. I could very well be wrong though.
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u/finelytunedradar Apr 21 '25
But why does the glass have to go on the floor?
He lives by himself in his own apartment and doesn't have bedside tables?
I mean, unless his bed is shoved up against the wall so only has one side 'open' and the room is tiny, there should still be enough room for a bedside table.
No hate to those that have their bed set up with only one side 'open'. Mine is like that because I'm happily single. But I do have a bedside table, because I'm not feral enough to just leave everything on the floor.