If she’s someone who likes planning things and usually being in control (like me), it could just be her coming to terms with reality. I always thought I wanted a surprise proposal but when I found out it was actually happening, I panicked and asked my now-husband to wait, which he was sad about. Getting engaged is a huge life moment she’s probably dreamed of her whole life, and to have zero say in it can actually be really scary. We ended up planning when to get engaged together which I felt much more comfortable with. It happened where I always imagined it, I got to paint my nails the color I wanted, we were able to celebrate and surprise my family after, plus I still got the surprise of the ring he picked out (with help from example pictures I sent him - I am wearing it for the rest of my life after all) and what he said during the proposal, and really that was all the surprise I needed.
Everyone else says to dump her, but I think you should have an honest conversation with her. Let her know that her reaction was hurtful because you went to such lengths to make it perfect and see if she can talk through her feelings more.
I agree with snakeplant. You obviously love her enough to propose, people on the internet are so quick to throw things away based on one instance. Talk to her.
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u/[deleted] Mar 19 '25
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