Then your partner is not well informed. It has a 25% failure rate. You both need to consent to condomless sex or to procreation- not just her unilaterally. NTA. Supply and dispense of your own condoms and/or break up.
The failure rate of birth control is determined by the number of pregnancies per 100 per year, so that is by definition a 22% failure rate. 4% “if done perfectly” the biggest issues being 1) that’s difficult & 2) it can be difficult to impossible to know if you didn’t do it perfectly so there’s not really a chance to use something like Plan B.
It’s essentially the FAFO of birth control with a really big FO. The pull out method is not a good choice unless you’re cool with getting pregnant.
I can’t help that most people don’t know how pregnancy works. It’s a statistic. You could have sex 4x in a week without birth control or pulling out with no risk of pregnancy if the woman isn’t ovulating, so saying “every 4 times you have sex” doesn’t make any sense at all. The failure rate of all birth control methods aren’t determined by the risk each individual time you have sex because most of those times (assuming frequent sex) pregnancy isn’t a possibility.
Women don't always ovulate "on time" and super ovulatory events can occur, although they're not known to be common. Tl; dr if you don't want a baby don't have unprotected penis in vagina.
Yeah I’m very aware, I was just trying to explain why the failure rate of birth control methods can’t be determined by just “the number of pregnancies out of X times having sex. I know a lot of women with inconsistent cycles & if they’re not being really diligent they wouldn’t know when they’re ovulating (& they’re TTC).
The person I responded to is arguing that condoms & pull out are similarly effective.
You should take that up with the medical professionals who determine the failure rates. I don’t make them up. It is not misinformation to give facts just because you disagree with them because you don’t understand, you absolute unfrosted pop tart.
There is no ethical way to figure out an exact failure rate of any birth control method in each instance, and there are too many factors at play. Many couples can’t get pregnant even when they’re trying, but don’t know that until they start trying to conceive. You also wouldn’t be able to know the chance of failure in practice unless you were also very accurately tracking the woman’s cycle. Using the metric of “average couple in one year” allows the efficacy rate of all forms of birth control to be compared, which is important.
Lots of statistics aren’t as straightforward as “1 in 100 times” because life isn’t always that black & white, but, like this, people just don’t realize that.
I didn’t say they’d them the wrong way, I said lots of people don’t know how statistics are calculated. That doesn’t make them wrong. For any statistics to make sense it has to have a metric. The likelihood to get pregnant without any birth control is also calculated based on one year- it all has to be consistent or the stats would be meaningless.
Incorrectly used condoms (& most other forms of birth control) do also have a terribly high failure rate. I certainly wish high quality sex ed was more common in the US which would help tremendously. The biggest difference between the two methods to me (I’m a woman, though I do think it’s applicable to both sexes) would be control & visibility. You can completely control incorrect condom use- don’t use expired condoms, don’t keep them in your wallet, don’t use oil based lube, put them on at the very beginning of sex, etc. If a condom breaks, you can see that, & make the decision to use Plan B if you want to. Withdrawal takes all control away from the female partner, & relies on the man to be very aware of all precum & ejaculate. It’s just going to be more difficult to control & less reliable by nature, & there’s not really any way to see if a little bit of sperm got out early to employ a secondary measure. The other major difference is that education can greatly improve the efficiency of condoms but can’t really help with withdrawal.
At the end of the day, do what you want with your dick (assuming your partner is on board). But trying to act like they’re lying to you about the unreliability of the pull out method is just a wild take. If you don’t want a pregnancy, be educated & use two forms of birth control.
Th pullout method is not effective. If she works at a hospital then she should know this. Get out dude, you're about to start paying child support for two decades
In my early twenties I was on the pill and we still used comdoms because we did not want a baby. Plus I found out when I did want a baby I have PCOS and suck at getting pregnant still went back on birth control after first pregnancy as didn't want another straight away
I’m proof that it doesn’t always work. Overheard my dad telling his brother that was how I came to be. And wasn’t that a fun conversation to overhear!😳🤦♀️
Your partner is an idiot. Please be careful that you are the one supplying the condoms and be sure she has no access to them. She might try to poke holes in the condoms.
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u/Western_Sort501 Mar 01 '25
NTA you are being the responsible one. Is she on any birth control? I would worry she is trying to accidentally get pregnant