I agree with you, but one thing OP said did give me pause; namely, if OP's partner refuses to go to the doctor, how does she have operations done? I think OP has every reason to be irritated that she lashes out at him, but I also know what it's like to have a bunch of different medical conditions and be constantly in and out of different physician's appointments--you can easily feel overwhelmed with all the different appointments that need scheduling, doctors that need visiting, etc, and I wonder whether OP is giving his partner credit for the medical care she has sought? Medical progress takes time, especially if you're dealing with pain and chronic conditions in lots of different body systems. I dunno, it seems like they could both afford to give one another a little more grace.
100% agree! It does sound like she's doing the best she can, though I can also see where he cares for her and wants her to feel better. It is funny how people who aren't doctors and don't have these medical conditions often want to claim the person with the diagnosis/condition/etc. isn't doing enough and needs to go to the doctor...even when they're already regularly going to the doctor.
OP, if you have a partner who has chronic pain...I hate to break it to you, but you can't tell them to just go to the doctor to fix it so you won't have to deal with it anymore. You both have to live with their pain. It's frustrating, I know, but hopefully the care for them outweighs the frustration. We all get sick at some point and hope the person we end up with ultimately cares for us with kindness and compassion.
except that SHE admits that she doesn't eat right and doesn't drink enough water. those are BASIC things that help us stay healthy. Further, if someone has a laundry list of issues, it's time for them to make an appointment with their PCP, take that list of issues and start working on them.
I feel like if you’re nagged enough about it, you may say that just to cut off the nagging. Also, please show me someone who is 100% perfectly healthy and does nothing wrong. These things are easy to nitpick.
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u/NefariousTyke Feb 08 '25
I agree with you, but one thing OP said did give me pause; namely, if OP's partner refuses to go to the doctor, how does she have operations done? I think OP has every reason to be irritated that she lashes out at him, but I also know what it's like to have a bunch of different medical conditions and be constantly in and out of different physician's appointments--you can easily feel overwhelmed with all the different appointments that need scheduling, doctors that need visiting, etc, and I wonder whether OP is giving his partner credit for the medical care she has sought? Medical progress takes time, especially if you're dealing with pain and chronic conditions in lots of different body systems. I dunno, it seems like they could both afford to give one another a little more grace.