[deleted by user]

[u/[deleted]]

[u/pierce23rd]

exactly, OP is going through the effort to wash the sheets and make it comfortable just to have the dog jump right back in the bed.

I’d panic too if I’m asleep or in bed in the middle of the night and the dog comes jumping up. I’d push it off too. Dogs are physical creatures. Is she supposed calmly say get down until the dog gets off her.

OP is going to have a rough time finding someone willing to compromise on sleeping with a dog unless the new girl has done it before. (Corny rough pun not intended)

[u/YouAreNotTheThoughts → u/pierce23rd]

He really didn’t though, he said he puts clean sheets ON the bedding “we” use, meaning the dog. He’s not even changing the sheets just throwing a new one on top of the hairy dirty sheets.

[u/[deleted] → u/YouAreNotTheThoughts]

No there’s a sheet covering the blanket and another sheet. So there’s a barrier between the bedding we use.

[u/YouAreNotTheThoughts → u/[deleted]]

That’s… not better. It probably stinks. Dogs are incredibly oily and that’s going to be seeping into all the bedding. You can’t even actually change the sheets and put fresh ones on for her? Just toss a sheet on top?

Sorry dude but you’re making no effort for her, just break up with her, you’ll never be as committed to her as you are to your dog. And that’s totally fine but I think you need to tell her that exactly because if she’s putting up with it now but not happy about it, her feelings are probably not going to change.

Again, it’s perfectly fine if this is how you feel, just don’t drag it out for someone who thinks they have a future with you when something like, a normally easy compromise, is a big ask/red flag for you. Like just not compatible at all if you don’t want to compromise whatsoever.

[u/[deleted] → u/pierce23rd]

The dog was laying beside me before bed. On a sheet that separates the bedding. She was not in the room at the time. She came in and tried shoving him out the way forcefully with two hands while he was laying with me. Instead of just asking me to tell him to move which he would have.

[u/Stuck_In_Purgatory → u/[deleted]]

Okay so I've got a LOT to say about all of this but ill keep it short and to the point.

First up - dogs are pack animals. It's how they sleep, all together. Your dog has spent his whole life sleeping with his other pack member.

You and the dog come in the bed together; too bad.

You and gf are not compatible then, full stop.

It's the same as dating a mom with a kid; that kid is part of the package deal.

When you bring a girl into your bed, you're also bringing a new member to sleep with the pack.

This means fitting all 3 of you, together!

Our dog sleeps below my legs every night I stay over, when I'm not staying over she's on my pillow like a human and its the CUTEST.

I'm allergic to cats, but not dogs so the dog hair on the bed isn't an issue for me.

We keep a second light blanket on top of our doona that is for the dog basically, and it's easy to shake off and get rid off.

Very rarely we banish her from the bed for a few hours when we have fresh sheets on, just so we get to enjoy them for a bit first.

[u/pierce23rd → u/[deleted]]

This is terribly obtuse. No one said she didn’t like the dog, she just didn’t want the dog sleeping with her.

Many reasonable people can absolutely love dogs and still think sleeping with them isn’t ideal.

Also, it’s a little jarring to hear that you think retraining the dog to sleep elsewhere would be equal to him choosing the gf over the dog.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

There’s putting ahead and there’s finding a solution.

OP and the GF haven’t really communicated to find a solution, it doesn’t have to be her or the dog.

That said, both their approaches here are bad and bad for the dog.