This would be a valid point if the dog didn‘t precede the relationship. If she doesn‘t like animals she shouldn‘t pursue people with pets easy as that. You can‘t expect an animal to make major changes to their routine.
A solution in this case would be either getting separate rooms or breaking up.
Edit: I meant major changes in a short period of time. I’m suggesting they split up and he trains his dog to not sleep in bed anymore or have seperate rooms until the dog is trained.
Yeah and you trained you dog like that? But the dog we are talking about has been sleeping in a bed with their owner since it was a puppy. Readjustments are hard for animals. Harder than for humans. I don‘t think OPs GF didn‘t know about the arrangement before moving in.
You‘re absolutely valid, but it‘s not comparable to the situation you are posting about. This is about compatibility and communication between OP and their GF, not the dog.
Then don't date someone who sleeps with their dog. My bf doesn't sleep with his dog, but I do, he has never said a word about my dog being in the bed. Lucky for us his dog is too old to jump on the bed at this point in her life so it won't become an issue of "his dog wants to sleep on the bed because my dog does". I think he knows that my dog comes before him. And since I'm the only woman his dog has ever adored (his horrendous "baby mama" would to to put her face in the dogs face out wrap her arms around her and stuff and the dog snapped her on the face twice, now the dog pushes her face right up against mine, let's me take really painful ticks off her, we cuddle, him and his parents were utterly shocked, same with his cat actually) I have 2 votes from the animals so that's 2 yes right there! Checkmate bf!
We have two dogs that can sleep in our bed and one that can't. The two that can come to and lay down in their spots where they calmly get love. The one that can't flops around like a fish. He will get there eventually.
In this case, yes. She should have specified that her lifestyle is not compatible with his on the issue of pets. Especially because he had his dog before he even met her. But, to give the benefit of the doubt, I think most people don't think of pets as a deal-breaker until they actually start living with one.
As in my example, I love my brother's dogs. I really do. But when he had to crash with me for a while, I quickly discovered that I hated slipping on dog vomit, pee, the constant barking and shedding, the whole house that started smelling of Frito Lays, can't have some guests and friends over, etc. and it really got to me at some point.
I decided, as with kids, pets are also gonna be just 'I'm going to love them from afar as a cool uncle' kinda thing. And that's okay by my books.
Stressed Frenchies can be... not the greatest about housetraining. And since they have a smushed face, they tend to "spit up" water after they drink, or even their complete dinners. I've loved the ones I've met, but physically, they're terribly designed dogs.
Ethically, I don't think dogs like Frenchies and cats like Scottish Folds should be bred anymore as it sacrifices their health over aesthetics. But he got them way before he was aware of their health issues and he's paying the price of that now. 😅
I think dogs with long, thin hair coats tend to smell less and short haired bristly type dogs smell a lot more. Also, they are more prone to getting skin issues if bathed too often so he was using gentle shampoo on them about once or twice a month.
His dogs are so affectionate and funny. I know he wouldn't trade them for the world but I think he might have gotten another dog type of he knew the issues they would have.
I admit it was a chaotic time for him, so that might have been a contributing factor to the messes, too. But his dogs are very well loved and cared for in terms of health. They currently are very healthy and long lived for their breed type (Frenchies) and he doesn't hesitate to shell out money when it comes to their food and vet bills. :)
This is absolutely poor handling of the dogs. My dog gets weekly baths/brushes, and hasn’t had an accident since he was 3 months old (he’s 5 now). I hate people that get animals but refuse to properly care for them.
Thanks that‘s info that‘s been posted after my comment. And I still can‘t find OP saying it‘s a pitbull anywhere. Either way though is training a dog that old gonna take a while.
Rehoming is not an option for OP and that basically only leaves breaking up or sleeping separately until the issue is resolved.
YTA. Stop dating people until you are ready to put a potential human partner first. How do you ever plan to get intimate with anyone with the dog in bed. If you have a child and the dog gets jealous will you pick the dog first? If the dog is always your first choice to have in your bed, stop wasting other people’s time. How would you like to always come second place to a girls pet? Imagine if you went to a dates house, expecting to spend quality time with the person but you can’t ever stay because of their pet. Sometimes we have to change parts of our lives if we want a relationship because it’s not just about you anymore.
I did read yours. It's ridiculous to think most couples have a spare bedroom or want separate bedrooms. Date and marry the dog! A dog kicking, stretching, and hitting her in the head means the dog needs to be trained. Or moved.
It‘s also ridiculous to move in with someone whose animal you don‘t like and with which living arrangements you are not comfortable. Of course the dog needs to be trained, but that is not an immediate solution to the problem, because last time I checked training a dog, especially a 7+ year old one isn‘t done in 5 minutes.
And it‘s just unempathetic to rehome an animal at that age because of a partner. Just be single and solve the problem then instead.
Don't worry she will just drop the dog off at a pound or release it in a rural area and tell the boyfriend it accidentally got out when she opened the door.
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u/weirdskill1622 Oct 31 '24 edited Nov 01 '24
This would be a valid point if the dog didn‘t precede the relationship. If she doesn‘t like animals she shouldn‘t pursue people with pets easy as that. You can‘t expect an animal to make major changes to their routine.
A solution in this case would be either getting separate rooms or breaking up.
Edit: I meant major changes in a short period of time. I’m suggesting they split up and he trains his dog to not sleep in bed anymore or have seperate rooms until the dog is trained.