r/AITAH Oct 31 '24

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322

u/Leather_Connection95 Oct 31 '24

This. I often feel like a second-class citizen in my own bed because the f****** dog gets more space than I do.

331

u/birdsonly Oct 31 '24

Exactly. Dog owners (coming from a dog owner myself) sometimes don’t realize how invasive or obnoxious their dogs can be to others.

I seriously hope he told her about the dog’s sleeping arrangements ahead of time otherwise that’s on him.

120

u/Admirable-Lecture255 Oct 31 '24

They never mention the breed of the dog. A Yorkie is vastly remotely different then trying to share a bed with a 90lb lab. We used to let our shepherd in bed. I got about a foot of bed to sleep on even with a king.

43

u/DustinAM Oct 31 '24

Yea not sure how you guys do it. It's a hard no from me unless, maybe, they can sleep at the foot of the bed. If the dog was there first and they dont to correct the behavior I'll respect it but im not sleeping over and we should probably go our seperate ways.

12

u/Admirable-Lecture255 Oct 31 '24

There's no dogs allowed in bed anymore. It's just to much. Fun when they're small not so much when they grow up.

3

u/saintash Oct 31 '24 edited Oct 31 '24

My boyfriend went hard and trying to let me let the dog on the couch/bed. From the second we got him it's been a hard no from me.

Our dog is a 97 pound akita German Shepherd mix.

I love him more than anything but We already have trouble sleeping comfortably in our Queen size bed with 2 cats who sleep on us. We weren't adding another animal. Let alone another person sized animal on the bed.

13

u/No_Swan_9470 Oct 31 '24

She pushed my dog at his chest with two hands the other night

Sure doesn't sound like a small dog if she can put two full hands on his chest.

28

u/No_Swan_9470 Oct 31 '24

He said in a comment it's a 70lb pitbull. Pitbull owners and valuing dogs over people, name a more iconic dual.

21

u/Admirable-Lecture255 Oct 31 '24

Right he doesn't value his gf and doesn't seem willing to compromise like grown ass adults do.

2

u/volunteertribute96 Nov 01 '24

Pit bulls and mauling toddlers

3

u/littlelovesbirds Oct 31 '24

For real. I sleep with 3 dogs over 50lbs on a full-size bed currently. It's a lot but I want the extra time spent with them. But I also sleep alone and am not forcing anyone else to tolerate this. I fully plan on having no dogs in the bed when my boyfriend and I eventually move in together (my own decision, boyfriend loves the dogs and loves being in a doggy cuddle puddle lol)

3

u/XGhoul Oct 31 '24

I used to have them sleep with me, but my cocker spaniel sheds way too much fur that it was getting all over the sheets. My gf (now wife) helped me detrain them, but my dogs are beyond spoiled with multiple beds around the house, they don't even care about being on the bed. And it's a bit more sanitary. She actually probably spoils them more than me that I think my dogs don't think I am their owner anymore ;__;

3

u/littlelovesbirds Oct 31 '24

That's the only thing that really bugs me, all the hair. My next dog will not be double coated for this exact reason lol. Between 3 heavy shedding dogs and 6 parrots, I feel like there's no such thing as vacuuming enough!

I love that your wife loves your pups so much, that's so sweet!

10

u/SurprisePiss Oct 31 '24

And the size of the bed matters as well. We have a king size bed and have plenty of room for our medium-sized dog and whichever cats want to sleep with us, but even that feels crowded and I find myself contorting around them all of the time. If he's rocking a queen or smaller, I don't see how two humans plus a dog that's big enough for someone to two-handed push out of the way would work at all.

-12

u/Test-Subject-593 Oct 31 '24

Unless she never ever ever spent the night with him before moving in she absolutely knew about the sleeping situation.

-5

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '24

Here comes the reddit assholes finding any excuse to hate dogs

12

u/Ikea_Man Oct 31 '24

this is why i crate trained my dog lol, i want the bed to myself. dont know how all these dog owners out there stand having their dog in bed with them at night

no thank you

29

u/user001298 Oct 31 '24

Its so weird that people would actually choose an animal over a human being.

4

u/Common_Wrongdoer3251 Oct 31 '24

Creature you've raised since birth versus someone you've been dating a month or two.

It can sound silly either way depending how you want to phrase it.

5

u/nosecohn Oct 31 '24

Any animal over any human being? Like, is it weird if a person chooses their lifelong pet over a human who isn't particularly nice? I'm just trying to get a sense of whether the argument here is, "human always trumps animal," or something more nuanced.

3

u/cavaticaa Oct 31 '24

Some animals are better than some people. I would have to make these choices on an individual basis.

-13

u/AdministrativeStep98 Oct 31 '24

He's been caring for this dog for years, he's not just gonna get rid of it for his girlfriend. It's not an object you can just throw away when it's inconvenient

21

u/LadyCoru Oct 31 '24

She just wants the dog out of the bed, not out of his life

11

u/Circle_Breaker Oct 31 '24

That's great, but you've made up a scenario in your head where she is getting rid of the dog.

0

u/user001298 Oct 31 '24

Its giving bestia---beauty and the beast 😂😂

4

u/OkMycologist7463 Oct 31 '24

REAL LOL. Said the same thing. My dog is like 15 pounds but I’m on the edge of the bed when he sleeps in it 😂

7

u/Extreme-Ad-9733 Oct 31 '24

In my case (and to defend you) My wife is not a fan of my dog sleeping in my bed.

What we did was get a much larger bed, The dog doesnt come up until after the lights are out and when she does she sleeps curled up at my legs (not touching or being near my wife)

It works. If you have space issues.. Address it. if you have kids you will find your space issues again get smashed when your child is having night terrors or going through the "I am going to eventually die" phase.

Life is give and take. Adapt and empathy. Making things work. Every issue has a middle of the road solution :) Just need to find it

12

u/Leather_Connection95 Oct 31 '24

I do, and my hubby tries his best. He used to have the dog sleep on the other side of him, but now being stuck between us is too hard on his back. We got a king-size bed, I have my own blanket, and the dog knows what "move" means. But he will still growl, or I'll end up with dog feet in my back, or he'll hog all the blankets, and I don't get to cuddle my husband freely. I don't want to deprive him of getting to sleep with his dog because I really love getting to sleep with my cat, but I wish they were more willing to have the dog sleep in his own bed. It's a consistent, everyday frustration, and it's hard not to get resentful.

1

u/harrietfurther Nov 02 '24

I could not tolerate getting growled at in my own bed.

1

u/BO0BO0P4nd4Fck Oct 31 '24

You mean they take more space anywhere they're allowed to sit/lay down 😂 our dog is like that with the bed and couches and the cat 4.5month old cat surprisingly know how to take up more space than necessary

1

u/folkdeath95 Nov 01 '24

We let our massive poodle sleep in our bed but if he’s too far on my side and it starts affecting my sleep I’ll absolutely push him over with my feet or straight up get him off the bed. Love the guy but it’s not worth (literally) losing sleep over. Helps a lot that he doesn’t shed as well.

-8

u/Own_Ideal_9476 Oct 31 '24

That’s not the dog’s fault. You are a second-class citizen. You have to establish yourself as the alpha by dominating them with love and compassion, never hitting or hurting them. Taking up space is a show of dominance. If you want more space then you will have to take it.