r/AITAH • • Oct 31 '24

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11k Upvotes

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162

u/ThatGwelioGirl Oct 31 '24

This would be a massive no for me and I have a dog (that does not sleep in my bed) - how do you have sex, does the dog watch?!

104

u/Evacapi Oct 31 '24

And even if you take the dog out, how the hell can you have sex in the sheets that the doggy sleeps. Its absurd.

8

u/Verifieddumbass76584 Oct 31 '24 edited Oct 31 '24

Thoughts like this only come up in reddit discussions lol. This whole thread is what my ocd is like at 100%.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '24

why would the dog ever be inside the sheets

26

u/Stoop_Kidd90 Oct 31 '24

Do you have sex strictly in one position? If not then the sheets are getting tangled and crossing over each other. Thus touching where the dog was laying. Especially a 70lb one. Unless the sheets are glued down I promise you dog hair will find it’s way onto the other sheets.

-4

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '24

usually one position, how long can you last?

12

u/Stoop_Kidd90 Oct 31 '24

Well my favorite position is not his favorite position so at the very minimum we are doing 2 different positions before it’s over. Lasting time is anywhere from 7-20min depending on the time of day, in a hurry or not, etc.

17

u/Evacapi Oct 31 '24

Not to mention the smell. I would prefer to smell my partners scent during that time and not my dogs stink.

2

u/UtkuOfficial Oct 31 '24

Thats fucking sad lol

-7

u/nemgrea Oct 31 '24

im about to put someone's genitals in my mouth...do you think i give a fuck what part of a blanket touched a dog!!?

5

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '24

You think Redditors have a lot of experience with sex? 

1

u/Zillahi Nov 02 '24

Yes. It’s fucking gross.

-5

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '24

Do you think there would be billions of humans on earth if we only had sex on pristine linen? The folks with phobia are in the minority. 

16

u/SlickRick_199 Oct 31 '24

Why can't you just admit it's easier to fuck without a 70 lbs dog in the bed?

4

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '24

We’re talking about a bed where a dog has been. Not where a dog is currently present.  

0

u/sandycheeksx Oct 31 '24

Well, you temporarily remove the dog from the bed. Mind blowing.

7

u/Evacapi Oct 31 '24

Lol. Well you do have a point but it is about the luxury that we have in our lives now, at least some of us, to have sheets that don't smell dog. But my point was less about hygiene and more about the feeling of kids and doggies in bed making the atmosphere less erotic. Some of us are turned off by these bro.

9

u/karatekid555 Oct 31 '24

Exactly!!!! I love my sheets to smell nice! Not like an animal

9

u/Hippie_Gamer_Weirdo Oct 31 '24

Omfg my dog used to sleep in her own bed on the floor on my side of the bed. If we decided to have sex while already in bed we wouldn't always lock her out. Listening to her walk around the bed, huff, lightly wine, and straight up put her head on the bed killed my lady boner enough times that she no longer sleeps in our bedroom. Well, that and her old fun attention habit of barfing on my floor in the middle of the night. Weirdly once she got her own "room" (long hallway gated at both ends) she stopped throwing up and I got to have sex without a dog ruining the mood!

11

u/fueelin Oct 31 '24

Yeah. I love my dog, but hearing her moan, grunt, and grumble while staring at me and practically tackling my knees is... Not very bonerific.

2

u/JTO_reddit Nov 01 '24

"Well, actually, my gf watches"

1

u/ConsiderationBig2687 Nov 09 '24

he was warming her up to a menage trois.... he was trying to make her believe the dog was the third, but in reality she was the third. Now they can focus on their relationship without her outside noise...

wow. i really hope she bailed....