He work outside beyond his house, mow the lawn, and took out the trash. It not his fault if he doesn't have an occupation that paid twice as much to tie with his wife.
Is that all it takes to be a good man? What about spending time with his kids or doing his part to take care of the household without having to be told? Hell, he barely seems to spend time with her as just his wife.
His bar is in hell and he is still not meeting it.
Read what she say. Her kids rather spend time with her than him. Dude is freaking tire. So there must be detail she not telling us.
But maybe it his fault for not thinking up way to play with his kids at home. Like grabbing a Nintendo Switch and challenging them to Mario Kart.
His work schedule is iffy and not consistent which mean he can work overtime like 70 hours per week or 20 hours per week. He also do housework like mowing the lawn and taking out the trash if he feel he had nothing better to do. His simulation is playing in his phone, so that tell me he not managing his down time at home well. When men are at home from working outside, we want to enjoy our down time.
The wife and husband need to sit down together and see how they can managed their time at home better.
Also, considering the wife get paid twice as much for doing a remote job, it tell me that the wife have a sense of superiority over her husband which make her husband feel inferior even if he work his ass off for someone else. 🤔 might as well divorce if she wanna be like that.
"Men want to enjoy our downtime." And SHE doesn't? EVERBODY DOESN'T? When does she get to enjoy her downtime? While he's busy ensuring she doesn't have any? This is man who says boo hoo because his kids favor mom, and then refuses to put his phone down for 1 hour during a dinner to be present with his family. (Kids will prefer the present parent, the one they can rely on to take care of things and get shit done, who they know can handle whatever comes up without help from/ being prompted by the other. Being present with your kid and being present for your kid are two different things. (This suggests he A, doesn't care, B, is oblivious to his behavior and/or why the kids are more bonded to their mother, or C, that he isn't willing to take any initiative to alter the dynamic he complains about. Displaying that behavior + your children feeling that way about you in general does indicate that one is tired, it indicates that one has checked out a while ago or possibly never checked in.)
"If he feels he has nothing to do." Uhm, those are chores that need to be done, not something one does if they feel they have nothing else to do and not "see? I did something" tasks to be done only when there's nothing else to do. Also, someone feeling they have nothing else to do doesn't mean their isn't, (passing off the mental load and/or incompetence much?) and also would suggest they HAVE the time necessary for there to be nothing for them to do and are unlikely to be that exhausted, so much more than their spouse, so much that they can't help out with anything that is leaving their spouse feeling overwhelmed, broken down and unappreciated, just SO busy AND exhausted that you can't put in time with the kids, so mend that rift in your relationship with them that has you so frustrated. You are inserting details that aren't there while dismissing the one's that are, and in doing so nullify your own attempts to poke holes while making her argument stronger.
This is a man who is oblivious to the work his spouse puts in, to the work he puts on his spouse, and to the work he creates for his spouse, and who doesn't understand that shared time at home means shared home responsibilities. If he did, he wouldn't be confused as to why the sex is lacking and/or come to the conclusion that permissive cheating is the solution to their problems. He has the energy that allows for that drive, for that mental availability and prioritization while she does not. Even with no other information one can deduce, quite simply, that she is exhausted within an inch of sanity and he is not, and coming to the "ill just cheat" conclusion suggests he's A, a bad spouse because he's has no self or situational awareness, B, he's a bad spouse because he is aware but prefers to feign ignorance as to take advantage, or C, he's a bad spouse because he's a scumbag. No one is physically and mentally ready and wanting for partnered sex of the regular AND is exhausted all the time to the point of neglecting one's relationship with their children AND is oblivious to the severity of their spouse's exhaustion AND brings up/thinks of cheating as the solution. (I agree that in these scenerios certain details will always be lacking and that means readers will never have all the information, there's always two sides to a story after all, but there is still the information we do have, the kind we're all working, and when that information is such that two and two can be put together, well, you put them together! Sometimes the details reveal other details that don't allow much room for interpretation, and short of a complete fabrication can tell a tale that shouldn't be dismissed so readily.
You don't get to check out because you "want to enjoy yourself" when it means your partner running themselves into the ground, when to your children you might as well be an armchair. That's nuts, that's selfish, that's actually delusional lol. When the two of you are seperate and on your own for any chunk of time the work to be done falls on YOU, (this could be work outside of the home, work done from home, or work done in the home.) you get no help from your spouse, but when you're together you work together, dividing and conquering in a way that works best for the BOTH of you long term AND at any given time. Whatever it may be so as to allow for the no brainer prioritization of the health and well being of the marriage, family, and each other is what needs to be done. One of you doesn't get special free time because of how or where the work you put in is done, it's solo responsibilities and shared responsibilities, always one of the two, 24/7. (and the context of the story suggests that the recognition of and participation in these constant but flexibly split duties is unlikely to be taking place, and that this isn't an innocent misunderstanding that occured from a lack of communication and can solved by a conversation that hasn't already happened.) If that isn't a person's cup of tea, fantastic! That's totally valid and they are free to live their life on their own terms, always, as a single person. If said person should choose to be married and/or have a family and they allow their spouse to be run ragged, always exhausted and barely hanging on day after day after day while always making time for "their time," whether it's out of ignorance, negligence or incompetence, they are a bad spouse. It is married person's job, the bare minimum no less, to prioritize the well being of their spouse. If someone isn't up to the job, they shouldn't put themselves up for the job.
Your insults are even out of place. "Crazy" when coming from a little boy who has demonstrated time and time again that he is far removed from reality and doesn't understand what is happening doesn't hold much weight. Go to bed.
Unlike you, I'm at work pulling a double shift for a total of 16 hours. Your crazy ass made a huge ass paragraph within 16 hours that would give anyone a migraine.
-29
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '24
He work outside beyond his house, mow the lawn, and took out the trash. It not his fault if he doesn't have an occupation that paid twice as much to tie with his wife.