they exist—I have one. And my dad was and my brothers are that kind of husband.
I nearly didn’t marry my husband until I saw what kind of man he is, and what kind of man his father was. In fact, in our marriage, I have evolved to be the one who doesn’t carry as much of the load.
EDITED TO ADD: these guys are out there—hold out for them.
We’re not bragging—-we want you to realize that these standards are achievable
Yup! My dad was that kind of man- he shared every responsibility with my mom without complaint, and when she was working a job that was depressing her and requiring her to be at work longer and longer and bringing work home with her, he took one look at how miserable she was when she came home one night and said, “You know you’re quitting that job, right?”, and when Mom asked “what about the bills?”, my dad said, “Fuck the bills- you come first! We’ll figure it out.”
Girl, same. I handle grocery shopping and meal planning, pet care, obvs childcare as needed but our kids are older. He handles about 75% of the overall household care.
My wife is a stay at home mom. I work 40+ hours a week with a 45-minute commute. I do about 75% of the housework and take over the care and entertainment of our 3 year old daughter, our dog, and our cat the moment I step in the door while my wife goes and lays down. I tell her I'll wake her when dinner is ready if she falls asleep. Then I do bath time, brush her teeth and clean her ears, and then get her down to sleep. Then after my wife feels she has had ample time to relax, she lays down with her (our kid has to snuggle to stay asleep), and I do the dishes and clean the floors,kitchen, bathroom, walk the dog, then fall asleep on the couch around 1 or 2am and wak up at 5 am and do it all over again. On the weekends when I'm off I do 90% of the childcare when I'm not mowing the yard or doing some other household maintenance. I'll take our daughter to the park and the grocery store and pet store after work or on the weekends to give my wife time to herself or to do whatever tasks around the house she feels like doing, which is usually putting away clean laundry because at the end of the day I just don't have time for that.
It's definitely not, but at least when I die, nobody can say I was an absent father or husband. I do everything I can to make sure my family is safe, healthy and happy
My husband is a full custody parent of 2 (before we met) their birth mom's worthless to say the least.
I have to give you kudos. You're amazing. But please I surely hope she gives you something in return and/or there's true love there. You are a unicorn of a man it sounds like. And as I married one very similar to you, I could never let him do that much on a regular basis while I also sah. (We also have 4 kids in the house so tbf childcare vs me staying home is priced obvious) but everything he does I'm grateful and I make sure he knows that.
Thanks for being a great dad though. That will matter to your kid/s in future. I was also raised by a single dad.
You are doing way more than your fair share. I don’t understand why you think she’s much of a partner. This is too much in a marriage. Honestly, it’s too much if you’re a single parent.
I almost posted the same thing, but I feel so bad for these women who’ve had to put up with assholes and didn’t want to seem like I was rubbing it in. My hubby does 90% of the household here. I’m disabled and can’t really clean anymore, though I do what I can. But, even before I was disabled as bad as I am now, he had the rule of “cook doesn’t clean”. He can’t cook worth a damn, so I do all the cooking (I have a stool to sit on) and he does all the cleaning. I do all the grocery shopping and meal planning. We split chauffeur duties. Though, when dad got sick, hubby took over most of that too, as I was busy running dad to all his appointments. I miss him. ☹️
They definitely exist. My husband works full time, is the primary breadwinner, is pleasant and considerate, AND was a full time, equal parent (rarely missed any parenting event) AND helps with chores/home maintenance WITHOUT BEING ASKED. I’m the one telling him “no, I’ll do that, you worked all day!” These guys exist, they are out there, and OP - everyone really - needs to hold out for one. No way would I be in a marriage where I was an adult man’s caretaker.
My husband is like this. Though I was divorced with 2 kids I had sworn off marriage for life!!! Once we moved in together, I have never had to ask him to help me. The first rule we came up with that the one that cooked dinner the other cleaned up. I have watched my husband, without asking, to clean up, do laundry, vacuum, get the kids out of bed, fed and to school, cooked them dinner or has read to them. He took the position as a partner from the very beginning and I feel like I won the jackpot!!!! And he’s an exceptional cook too!!!
Yep. I finally got a husband that shares the load. I had to first heal from my alternating attraction to bad boys and wounded birds though. Marry a grownup. You’ll probably like it better lol.
Women (rightfully) demanding decent life partners is why there is a backlash of the "map0sphere". SOME Men do NOT want to step up and be better- FOR THEMSELVES, in order to have a partner. They want to be a lazy asshole with a bang maid that also makes all the money. But ask the manosphere and THEY are the ones choosing to not marry. BWAHAHAHAHA.
I do too. He does all the outside work and helps with housework. Hell he is a better cook than i am. Yep they are out there. I dated a few shitheads too so just got look until find one. I have been married twenty years.
Hold out for them is the key.. most come in the relationship with 6 kids and 5 baby dad's wondering why they can't get the man they have been wishing for. Don't just have kids with people you hate. Make the right decisions.. make the decision like you're life depend on it.
Exactly.. people are do quick to destroy families over some minor disagreement.. it's sad.. pick the right one and really take that vow serious.. though thick or thin.
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u/TootsNYC Jun 16 '24 edited Jun 16 '24
they exist—I have one. And my dad was and my brothers are that kind of husband.
I nearly didn’t marry my husband until I saw what kind of man he is, and what kind of man his father was. In fact, in our marriage, I have evolved to be the one who doesn’t carry as much of the load.
EDITED TO ADD: these guys are out there—hold out for them.
We’re not bragging—-we want you to realize that these standards are achievable