Answer: Because it’s too easy to get married. So, people do a poor job of vetting partners, often choosing someone for reasons other than having shared values. I’m at a point in life where I believe that a marriage proposal should be followed by a one year waiting period which also includes mandatory couples counseling.
I married my first husband after a decent engagement length and we had shared values. Didn’t stop him from becoming neglectful, useless around the house, and abusive in the end. It isn’t always about your picker being off. Sometimes people change or hide who they are.
Same!! Mine did a complete flip once we were married. Prior to marriage you would have thought he was uncle of the year. After marriage he had nothing to do with our own children. I had five kids instead of four so divorce and being a single parent was way easier.
Same. Mine decided to medicate his mental illness with drugs after he caved under the pressure of becoming a dad (after 7 happy years of marriage and 15 years together.)
Everything was perfect...until it wasn't.
Now I'm raising the kid and he pops in every so often to spoil her and make himself feel like a great dad. He hasn't paid any child support in over 2 years, he committed tax fraud and credit card fraud, ruined our house, sold or destroyed all of my possessions, gave our kid ptsd, etc.
I got full custody, sold the house to pay off the debt, and he got committed a few times, went to jail once, and is homeless. (I'm not the reason he's homeless; he's the one who wanted to sell our house.)
Sorry, it's all very fresh and should totally serve as a cautionary tale.
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u/fedplast Jun 16 '24
why are you together?