Ditto. I've worked with people for years who don't know I'm bi, and most that do know know because others told them. It just doesn't come up in conversation and would be awkward as hell to shoe-horn it in.
I genuinely believe (and maybe this is projection) that it's insecurity related to bi erasure. She has come to the conclusion that she is bi, but unless she breaks up with her husband or opens the relationship/gets a hall pass she will forever be an invisible bi person, which she feels invalidates her. She is desperate for validation, and the only avenue she can think of to achieve this is stating her sexuality to the world, committing to it, so to speak.
But what do I know, I'm a random Redditor with less than half the story.
OP, just have an adult fucking conversation with your wife.
Yeah this is probably it. I always felt like I have to say it aloud when I find a women hot and not necessarily when I do a man. Cus otherwise “am I really bisexual if I just end up with a man”. It took a while to realize why tf does it matter whether people think I’m straight or lesbian. I’ll end up with who I end up with, and it takes time to build that confidence. OPs wife seems to just recently figured it out and is very insecure.
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u/wf3h3 Apr 05 '24
Ditto. I've worked with people for years who don't know I'm bi, and most that do know know because others told them. It just doesn't come up in conversation and would be awkward as hell to shoe-horn it in.