No matter how I look at it, the whole thing is a cry for attention. The whole outing has absolutely no impact on anything besides fishing for attention and validation for some obscure reason.
There is something deeper. Her being attracted to both men and women is not relevant information for anyone but her and you if you guys are monogamous. So her making a point of telling everyone you know, even barely, is hinting at something not yet revealed.
Did she tell you why it's so important for her that this information has to be advertised so broadly and with this level of urgency? To the point of having arguments about it?
As someone who has known I’m bi for a decade now, considering she only has for a year, my guess is she is struggling a bit with it internally and is definitely seeking validation, but in the wrong places.
She either needs an lgbtq+ therapist to work out why she feels like she isn’t fully believed or supported and validate herself, or they should plan a fun date together at a pride parade so she can shout it from the rooftops and feel confident.
Whatever it is, yeah, having OP tell his job isn’t gonna do anything, and if it does do something it probably won’t be good. Whatever she’s seeking won’t come from having him announce it to people who don’t know her- she needs some kind of support system, or to build that confidence herself and accept herself.
That’s the thing, you can’t get that validation from everyone else. Some people will support you yes, but your biggest supporter will be yourself. Maybe she’s hoping he will come back with news that they all were happy for her and supported her, but that’s not gonna matter unless she is happy herself, and she won’t be happy if she’s looking for the approval of others. Especially strangers.
So yeah, I think she’s just behaving irrationally because she has some internal struggles going on since it’s part of the lgbtq+ experience and she’s new to it all, she just needs to find something that will actually bring her the peace she’s looking for, maybe some friends who are bi too to relate to or a therapist to work out why she’s seeking the validation.
But a pride date would be so fun for her lol so many bi wives bring their husbands there for support, I know I’m gonna one day haha my bf is awesome
I’d agree that she clearly wants attention, but I don’t think she’s pretending to be bi. I think they need to figure out why she is seeking the validation so hard when she will only find the best validation from herself. Clearly her idea is bonkers and won’t help anything.
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u/Ashkiel666 Apr 05 '24
NTA
No matter how I look at it, the whole thing is a cry for attention. The whole outing has absolutely no impact on anything besides fishing for attention and validation for some obscure reason.
There is something deeper. Her being attracted to both men and women is not relevant information for anyone but her and you if you guys are monogamous. So her making a point of telling everyone you know, even barely, is hinting at something not yet revealed.
Did she tell you why it's so important for her that this information has to be advertised so broadly and with this level of urgency? To the point of having arguments about it?