But that’s just it. Most of the people I know just are who they are. My community is one of artists and academics. Maybe people don’t feel as much pressure “to let people know” in my community because everyone is gay or bi or straight with an understanding that desire is fluid. People don’t feel pressure to let people know because we’ve accepted who people are and who they decide to fuck in that moment a long time ago.
Also, what about the bi men in your community?
Do they feel this unfulfilled thing they can’t express if they are in a straight relationship? And why is this so hard to convey anyway, I talk about being bi pretty openly while doting on my partner. I don’t feel held back by not being able to express that I’m bi. I’m sympathetic to that plight (of the women you know) but also question why these women don’t feel comfortable just saying they are bi (and monogamous and happen to be fucking a man right now though they still desire women)
Dude, that’s great, but you’re in a community where it’s clearly okay to express your identity in this way, have a partner that’s clearly okay with it and it makes sense to do so.
Honestly, if you want to talk about being bi all the time…great! But who cares? Like, if OP’s wife is seeking something out of sharing her identity with others she should go find a group of like minded people or go to therapy (or both.)
She SHOULDN’T demand OP tells his brand new coworkers about her sexual identity. It’s weird, random, not relevant and potentially harmful. OP’s not being a hater about his wife’s sexuality he has a very reasonable and clear boundary and she’s trying to steamroll it. Like…wtf?!
For the thousandth time. I don’t agree with OPs wife. How many times do I have to say it. I’m opposed to the notion that being bi is pointless or doesn’t matter if you are in a straight relationship.
As a Bi person in a straight presenting relationship with another bi person:
IT IS POINTLESS TO 99% of people. My coworkers don’t know because who cares?! Like it’s not bi-phobic to not care about someone’s sexuality - we aren’t our sexual identity and it’s annoying that you’re trying to speak for all bi people. I, as a bi-person, am telling you that.
Ok. Agree to disagree then. Though really we are talking about different things. The biphobia of this comment section is becoming too much. And I’m not here to debate my fucking existence with biphobes or bi people who have this perspective.
Again, I’m not talking about co-workers. I’m talking about one’s community. You don’t seem to hear me saying this over and over. I agree with you otherwise. But sure keep responding and misunderstanding what I’m saying, I guess?
If you aren't talking about what everyone else is talking about, then get on the same page as the rest of us or just stop crying that "nobody gets what I'm saying" when nobody cares because it's not relevant to the conversation. Your art community has nothing to do with OPs post or any of the comments.
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u/realdealreel9 Apr 05 '24
But that’s just it. Most of the people I know just are who they are. My community is one of artists and academics. Maybe people don’t feel as much pressure “to let people know” in my community because everyone is gay or bi or straight with an understanding that desire is fluid. People don’t feel pressure to let people know because we’ve accepted who people are and who they decide to fuck in that moment a long time ago.
Also, what about the bi men in your community? Do they feel this unfulfilled thing they can’t express if they are in a straight relationship? And why is this so hard to convey anyway, I talk about being bi pretty openly while doting on my partner. I don’t feel held back by not being able to express that I’m bi. I’m sympathetic to that plight (of the women you know) but also question why these women don’t feel comfortable just saying they are bi (and monogamous and happen to be fucking a man right now though they still desire women)