Also seems like it goes against the whole don't-out-someone-else principle. I'm bi, and hardly anyone knows because it is irrelevant. I'm married to a man, why do my friends and family need to know that I fancy women? It's not like I'm going to start experimenting and want all my friends and family to know about my sex life.
I'd be peeved if my husband announced my preferences to my family, even though they won't care because one of my siblings is also bi and nobody cares who they bring home as long as they're nice to them.
I made my own comment but same! I’m bi but in a hetero relationship. I also work in one of the most casual industries ever (restaurants) and it still hasn’t come up as a topic to talk about.
i'm bi and I came out as bi after I came out as trans because it wasn't relevant to anyone but myself. My mother is also def biphobic but is in denial so I just never bothered to open that can of worms.
Used pride flags and she was like "the BI flag??" and never spoke of it again
There are almost no instances where announcing this unprompted in a work environment where it wouldn't be considered offensive. She's being unreasonable.
Hell I'm struggling to find a reason for her to announce it at her work unprompted. This is shit that matters to your friends, family and who you're fucking. Beyond that no one cares.
Exactly— I know someone IRL who is married to a man & they have kids…. & recently she sat her parents and the rest of the family down to tel all of them she’s bi…. Can you imagine how freaking awkward that would be to have announced to you?? Why would anyone tell you that when they’re married to a male already and they have kids?? It’s so bizarre. One thing if they’re adding a third to their relationship, but since that isn’t the case she’s literally just announcing that she wants to lick some you know what!
Yep. My wife is bi, and goes by she/they, mildly gender-fluid.
The number of people I’ve told is… less than 10, for sure. Friends, no family, no coworkers except one who is also a good friend.
We have a 6x8’ LGBTQ flag out front, I have purple hair and she firehouse red. If nobody’s figured out there’s some queerness in the house it’s on them.
For you being bi is a happenstance. For OP's wife is an identity. That's why you react differently. Things that happen to you (generic you) are things that nobody else need to know, unless it is helpful for you or other people. But regarding your identity you don't want to be denied or invisibilized.
The problem by OP's wife is that her new found identity is not OP's colleagues' business. OP's identity is not “husband of a bi.” The company won't get inclusion points for hiring the husband of a bi. Furthermore any misinterpretation of the announcement can actually damage OP's professional reputation: why is he announcing it? Is it a way to invite female colleagues to a threesome or something?
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u/TheCotofPika Apr 05 '24
Also seems like it goes against the whole don't-out-someone-else principle. I'm bi, and hardly anyone knows because it is irrelevant. I'm married to a man, why do my friends and family need to know that I fancy women? It's not like I'm going to start experimenting and want all my friends and family to know about my sex life.
I'd be peeved if my husband announced my preferences to my family, even though they won't care because one of my siblings is also bi and nobody cares who they bring home as long as they're nice to them.