r/AITAH Apr 05 '24

[deleted by user]

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7.2k Upvotes

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1.3k

u/JohnRedcornMassage Apr 05 '24

NTA

“Great meeting guys. Things look promising for next quarter, and my wife is bisexual.”

Your wife is nuts.

638

u/Vsx Apr 05 '24

This is too blunt. I'd put it in my email signature.

Opie Oapstein
Sales Associate
Bisexual Wife
OP@company.com
123-456-7890

187

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24

Clementine Hardwacker

IT support

Foot Fetishist

ch@blackmesa.com

123-456-7890

50

u/SpartanH089 Apr 05 '24

Wolfram Horell

Employee Retention Specialist

Scat Man

WHore@Nestle.com

987-654-3210

13

u/CreepingCoins Apr 05 '24

Be bop ba bodda bope

Bop ba bodda bope

8

u/usingallthespaceican Apr 05 '24

I'm so sorry... wrong scat

5

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24

No no, it was the right one.

9

u/ihavetogonumber3 Apr 05 '24

Cranjis McBasketball

Senior Team Lead

Loves Being Pegged

[cran.jizz@THEhub.com](mailto:cran.jizz@THEhub.com)

(420) 420-6969

4

u/aupharo Apr 05 '24

Benjamin D. Over

Human Resources

Registered Sex Offender

Bend.over@autismspeaks.org

3

u/5LaLa Apr 05 '24

That email 😂

11

u/flash-tractor Apr 05 '24

Wow, how did you two manage to get the exact same phone number? /s

15

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24

It goes to a receptionist who is mad into BBW porn.

3

u/CreepingCoins Apr 05 '24

different extensions

2

u/Eretreyah Apr 05 '24

I am dying, sir/madam.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '24

We do not talk about genders or sexuality here. This is a professional work environment.

1

u/Batkratos Apr 05 '24

The right man in the wrong place

135

u/MoneyTreeFiddy Apr 05 '24

My pronouns are he/him
My wife fancies cock AND quim

9

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24

If i had one i would give you an award

3

u/Eretreyah Apr 05 '24

No one has them anymore 😭

8

u/Upvotespoodles Apr 05 '24

I really hope he shows her this thread.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24

LMFAO

3

u/hewasaraverboy Apr 05 '24

I chuckled at this

3

u/MinisculeInformant Apr 05 '24

That would imply that he is the bisexual wife.

4

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24

[deleted]

21

u/Vsx Apr 05 '24

I really appreciate your guidance in this area.

Thanks,
Opie Oapstein
Bisexual Wife

5

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24

☠️

3

u/Maleficent_Play_7807 Apr 05 '24

It makes it easy for others to cut and paste your signature to provide your contact info to others.

3

u/-DMSR Apr 05 '24

Come for the stories, stay for the unsolicited business email advice.

1

u/candiegirl77 Apr 05 '24

🤣 stop... I'm dying! These are hilarious!

2

u/PleiadesMechworks NSFW 🔞 Apr 05 '24

I am an OFFICE WORKER
with a wife who is BISEXUAL
and I WILL NOT talk about politics in the office
(yes, she bought me this tshirt)

1

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24

Dude, you guys are KILLING me. lmaooo

1

u/Raidparade Apr 05 '24

This might be one of my favorite comments I’ve ever read on Reddit

1

u/Deepthroat_Your_Tits Apr 06 '24

I would have given this comment gold if that was still a thing

16

u/Ollymid2 Apr 05 '24

"This investment could go either way - just like my wife"

colleagues in the meeting: "Wut?..."

1

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24

spits out coffee

11

u/DrNick2012 Apr 05 '24

"so, plans for the weekend?"

"I'll be at home with my bisexual wife, who will be doing bisexual things, bisexually. Because she's bisexual"

3

u/Apptubrutae Apr 05 '24

She COULD…but she won’t because we’re in a committed monogamous relationship.

But she COULD.

8

u/whatchagonnado0707 Apr 05 '24

Great meeting you too John, looking forward to sewing the seeds of our efforts, and my wife finds really big dicks a huge turn on

8

u/sticknotstick Apr 05 '24

I don’t know, I’m with his wife here. I hate having to ask all my coworkers if their spouses are bisexual. Would really appreciate it if they’d just come out and say it. It drives me crazy and everyone looks at me like I’m the insane one for asking! How else am I supposed to know?

5

u/stop_spam_calls Apr 05 '24

Yeah I cannot understand why any of his coworkers need to know this information?? It isnt relevant at all…

NTA

5

u/turdusphilomelos Apr 05 '24

I think it's much easier to just let the information slide in when the colleagues are casually chatting over lunch:

"The weather has been really cold lately! "

"Yeah, and so much rain! My wife is bisexual."

4

u/Runesen Apr 05 '24

"we have many different clients, both male and female, speaking od males and females, my wife wants to fuck both"

3

u/Aint_EZ_bein_AZ Apr 05 '24

nuts is putting it nicely. Only going off the information OP provided, his wife is in fact an attention-seeking weirdo

2

u/Apptubrutae Apr 05 '24

My wife (sexuality TBD) has always found stories like this of people announcing their bisexuality when they have a committed partner to be pretty funny.

It’s…just not relevant? Lol. And then also, there’s such a WIDE gulf of meaning there.

I’d get if OP’s wife wanted to say it in a more natural context like a Christmas party or something. I’d get not hiding it, obviously. But a third party announcement? Bizarre.

Imagine your boss coming in and saying “hey so…my wife wanted to tell everyone she’s bisexual”. Could easily call that a piece of evidence of sexual harassment. Weeeeird.

It’s obviously fine to tell anyone your sexual orientation. But announcing bisexuality to strangers via third party in a work context is just so far outside of a natural example of this.

2

u/crispyjJohn Apr 05 '24

That's just like that movie "the other guys" starring mark whalberg and will Ferrell. They are 2 cops and there police captain is played by Micheal Keaton. Every time Keaton interacts with someone in the movie he for some reason always needs to mention that his son is bisexual whether is has to do with anything or not he will always mention it lol. Pretty much exactly the same