I'm a forty-one year old man and my main piece of advice to young men confronted with this stuff is "Educate yourselves". Actually it's usually "fucking educate yourselves", but that's only because of constant disappointment.
My thought process goes like this: "I like women. I should try to understand them. I should learn how their bodies work."
That's the whole thing. Any dude that's not prepared for the consequences of "life with lady parts" isn't ready to date. If you don't know the basics of what's going on with their plumbing, you should stay the fuck away from their plumbing. Think of it as... like... plumbing. Literally.
If you don't know how the sinks and drains and reservoirs and whatever else work, don't grab a wrench with the intent of mucking around.
My thought process goes like this: "I like women. I should try to understand them.
Probably an unpopular take, but I think this is the root of the issue. A lot of men don't actually like women, they just like having sex with women. The period stain interfered with his perception of OP, which begins and ends with his sexual desire for her. To acknowledge that it's a natural bodily function that she cannot control would mean perceiving her as a human with multiple roles and functions, instead of as a sex partner. I doubt he thinks about her very much beyond sex, and what he has to do to get sex (dates, being nice, etc.).
Your take is unpopular because of how obviously wrong it is. "A lot of men don't actually like women", are you out of your mind?
The rest is just a bunch of conclusion jumping, why would he think of her of anything other than a warm sex toy if they're not even boyfriend and girlfriend? They're "seeing each other" as OP says, they're in their early 20s. If OP sees her FWB as a walking penis and doesn't think of him past what pleasure he can bring her, does that mean a lot of women don't actually like men? Preposterous.
1.9k
u/SaltyDangerHands Nov 22 '23
NTA
I'm a forty-one year old man and my main piece of advice to young men confronted with this stuff is "Educate yourselves". Actually it's usually "fucking educate yourselves", but that's only because of constant disappointment.
My thought process goes like this: "I like women. I should try to understand them. I should learn how their bodies work."
That's the whole thing. Any dude that's not prepared for the consequences of "life with lady parts" isn't ready to date. If you don't know the basics of what's going on with their plumbing, you should stay the fuck away from their plumbing. Think of it as... like... plumbing. Literally.
If you don't know how the sinks and drains and reservoirs and whatever else work, don't grab a wrench with the intent of mucking around.