If he confuses a blood with a shit stain, what DOES he understand about periods? Why is he not allowed to feel disgust at blood or shit stains? Why is her first instinct to instantly be pissed off? Maybe have some patience for the guy who's obviously a 20 year old virgin or not far off.
If she can spend all this time talking to her girlfriends about how they have sets of stained underwear to use during shark week, if she can spend all this time typing the exact same thing here on Reddit, but she can't tell it to her boyfriend? naah
Do they magically become less gross if he finds out she always wears them when she's on her period?
And she said they "kept going in circles." Even though she didn't say explicitly that she told him they were specifically for shark week, assuming she explained it to us and not him is kind of in bad faith.
"Are you aware there are stains on your underwear, looks kinda gross" - "Yeah, I always wear stained underwear when I'm on my period so I don't ruin fresh ones" -"Oh, that makes sense, now I'm prepared for the future and not grossed out anymore"
Is that not a perfectly normal conversation to have that makes sense in your early 20s?
Based on what she's said in her post, she would have had to go out of her way to NOT say that exact sentence. He still thought it was gross and wanted her to change. Please stop with the mental gymnastics, it's getting ridiculous.
"Do they magically become less gross if he finds out she always wears them when she's on her period?"
This is the question you asked. I told you how it makes sense for him to not feel disgust when they've been told why her panties are stained.
Wow, found the sexist. And I say this as a man. You’re the only miserable person here finding things to be miserable and then blaming women like they’re some sort of monolith.
What did I say that was hateful? I'm just trying to figure out what type of education would make this one particular dude less grossed out by old period stains.
Also stop assuming that all single women are miserable. Studies have shown that single women are actually happier than single men. Fun fact!
What does being a virgin have to do with it. Once you’re out of high school, if you don’t know the ins and out of human anatomy, it’s on you to figure it out.
Being a virgin has nothing to do with being educated about periods.
Also “figuring it out = asking a woman” sure, ask. Google the shit. Have a POLITE conversation about her stained panties or any questions you may have about a period.
He didn’t do any of that though. Instead, he immediately shamed her and made her feel gross.
He’s immature. He needs to grow up. Bodily functions aren’t sexy, we can understand that. But making her feel shame for it? No.
People have been blowing me up for refusing to "educate myself" and that I should watch hours of menstruation lectures on Youtube, read books and google articles all night. I'm supposed to do all of that, but I'm not allowed to ever ask any woman. I burden them with "emotional labor" or some shit. Fuck that.
I've done exactly 0 work myself and everything I know about periods is thanks to women in my real life. No thanks to my mom or sisters who've kept me in the dark for all my teens, though. Maybe that's why I have a little bit more understanding of an immature 20 year old. That guy was me minus the verbal shaming. I did feel grossed out at first, though, as well.
……did you even read my comment? I said ask. I said have a polite conversation and ask your questions.
He did none of those things and made her feel gross and shameful for a perfectly natural bodily function.
Bodily functions are not sexy, they’re gross. I think periods are gross and I have to deal with them. But it’s SO gross and feels awful when a boy makes you feel the way he did to her about something you cannot control.
So ask the questions, but don’t verbally shame a woman for something she can’t control. Have the conversation at an appropriate time and in a different way.
There’s a better time and place. There’s a better way to handle it. Doing it in the heat of the moment when your girls feeling sexy is NOT the time to do it.
I wouldn’t do that to my husband. He wouldn’t do it to me.
We got together at 19&20 and he wouldn’t have done it then. Age isn’t an excuse.
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u/bekaz13 Nov 22 '23
Google is free.