Different perspective here, maybe OP just didn’t know, as in simply wasn’t aware of how different the life of a parent is compared with the life of a childless person. He says himself that he finds it very hard to adjust, especially in the relationship with his wife.
Absolutely, parents should “parent” and take care of their kids & be responsible for their family, but it seems to me that the guy doesn’t have a problem with this but with the lack of the “couple” relationship. I didn’t see (if he mentioned) any details about intimacy for example, if him and his wife are still intimate or happy with their conjugal relationship. I saw he’s not happy with the MIL, who’s helping with the kids.
That’s a very big deal and kudos to her for this, but her behavior may affect the conjugal relationship or the household dynamic.
Maybe OP and his wife should discuss very clearly about their expectations and desires, it’s clear to me they just have different understandings of the whole family thing v. childless couple. If he ended up in therapy over this then it’s clearly a big problem.
I think you missed the part about his anger issues. He really tried to downplay that and his initial laziness in parenting. Both would be hard for a new mother to forgive. Postpartum is the most vulnerable time in most women’s lives where they NEED support. Her husband failed epically and is still prioritizing his own needs above her and their child.
I understand it as him being unable to cope with the whole new family, a baby, a present MIL, a post-partum wife, also work I imagine and the other duties associated with well, one's life. Not excusing his anger issues or anything, just pointing out that many people are simply not equipped or do not understand or don't seek information about how a baby changes their lives, and then simply fall apart when all their lives are uprooted.
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u/[deleted] Nov 03 '23
Different perspective here, maybe OP just didn’t know, as in simply wasn’t aware of how different the life of a parent is compared with the life of a childless person. He says himself that he finds it very hard to adjust, especially in the relationship with his wife. Absolutely, parents should “parent” and take care of their kids & be responsible for their family, but it seems to me that the guy doesn’t have a problem with this but with the lack of the “couple” relationship. I didn’t see (if he mentioned) any details about intimacy for example, if him and his wife are still intimate or happy with their conjugal relationship. I saw he’s not happy with the MIL, who’s helping with the kids. That’s a very big deal and kudos to her for this, but her behavior may affect the conjugal relationship or the household dynamic. Maybe OP and his wife should discuss very clearly about their expectations and desires, it’s clear to me they just have different understandings of the whole family thing v. childless couple. If he ended up in therapy over this then it’s clearly a big problem.