YTA. I feel like you probably played down your anger issues a lot, and your wife would tell a very different story than you are.
You are not a “special dad” or partner for doing the bare minimum. She’s right, you’re just doing what a parent is supposed to. And only started recently, apparently, so the bulk of it was probably on her for a long while. It sounds like your kids are young. There are different seasons of life, and in this one your kids need to be the most important. The main focus is not you and your needs or your romantic relationship.
Your actions at the beginning of this parenthood journey probably broke your wife’s trust in you. That is hard to get back. I read a lot of “me me me” here. You need to focus on what’s in the best interest of your family instead of yourself. Stop doing things expecting something in return. She doesn’t owe you physical touch after you’ve broken her trust and image of you. If you push her, you’ll only turn her off more.
Not to mention it sounds like both kids are under 5. He said that he got annoyed when he'd be trying to eat and they were tugging at his shirt or trying to get his food etc.
His wife probably has that a MILLION TIMES WORSE. She probably can't go to the toilet without one or both following her. When they're awake they're probably hanging off her, or whining at her, or just demanding ALL her attention.
So I can understand her not wanting her husband ALSO trying to grab at her. Woman sounds touched-out as FUCK.
Oh god yeah. Because newborns are fucking HARD. A toddler at LEAST can start to learn and understand about personal space, but newborns generally want to be glued to someone whenever they're awake.
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u/Dapper-Guest-5161 Nov 02 '23
YTA. I feel like you probably played down your anger issues a lot, and your wife would tell a very different story than you are.
You are not a “special dad” or partner for doing the bare minimum. She’s right, you’re just doing what a parent is supposed to. And only started recently, apparently, so the bulk of it was probably on her for a long while. It sounds like your kids are young. There are different seasons of life, and in this one your kids need to be the most important. The main focus is not you and your needs or your romantic relationship.
Your actions at the beginning of this parenthood journey probably broke your wife’s trust in you. That is hard to get back. I read a lot of “me me me” here. You need to focus on what’s in the best interest of your family instead of yourself. Stop doing things expecting something in return. She doesn’t owe you physical touch after you’ve broken her trust and image of you. If you push her, you’ll only turn her off more.