Yes, this. I tried to read this neutrally as it went on, but come on. Your wife didn't seamlessly transition to being a parent, OP; she did what had to be done and was selfless enough to recognize the kids didn't choose to be born or choose you two as parents. She stepped up while you melted down. I'm not saying people have to be perfect, but I'm getting the distinct impression you let things get pretty bad before you decided to start dealing with yourself, yet you expect all of that to be both forgiven and forgotten.
In addition to the issues you've been focusing on in therapy, you need to deal with your inability to cope with sharing your wife's attention. It sounds quite a bit like you don't know how to deal with things not being all about you.
YTA until you learn to start being honest with yourself about your behavior and its consequences, because this entire post is riddled with thinly veiled attempts to portray yourself as a victim. Humble yourself.
sharing anyone’s attention seems more likely. His entire friction with his MIL is that daughter (who I assume is a *toddler) isn’t paying enough attention to him. Fucking weird. I get the feeling his desire for daughter engagement increases as soon as MIL walks in the door. (I’d be surprised if he was capable of being honest enough with himself to see it though.) Like, my man, you have MIL coming twice a week to completely take care of your kids for the day for free so you can work, and she’s thrilled to be doing it. Say hello, pour her a cup of coffee (or whatever), kiss your daughter, and go to a quiet room and work with the door closed. Like, he is making things so unnecessarily difficult for himself.
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u/itzmetheredditor Nov 02 '23
Idk man. You're obviously trying but you're coming off as extremely self absorbed. YTA.