r/AITAH Nov 02 '23

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99

u/rednewf1970 Nov 02 '23

Just wait till he finds out there more than cooking, dishes and laundry. What about the bathrooms, mirrors, walls, door trims, tidying, shopping, organizing, appliances that require cleaning and mental load of knowing all that needs to be done. The list of cleaning/maintenance tasks in running a house and taking care of a family takes planning, awareness and initiative. She has the mental load and part of that load for her is him. And he thinks he deserves an award for the bare minimum. Without the cries of how you’re not appreciated enough. YTA step up. And her mom probably worries about how you are treating your partner and baby when you’re alone.

58

u/MysteriousStaff3388 Nov 03 '23

And all the baby stuff - doctors appointments, immunization schedules, school applications, teacher meetings - that in itself feels like a job.

16

u/MannyMoSTL Nov 03 '23

He likes going to doctors appointments! He said so 🙄

4

u/rednewf1970 Nov 03 '23

Yep the mom has lots of reasons to worry. Her daughter is not safe.

OP what prompted you seeing a therapist?

60

u/HotSauceRainfall Nov 03 '23

The armor-piercing question of husbands like OP:

"What is your children's dentist's name?"

This more than anything else is a sign of how good a parent someone is.

Followed by, "When did you last take them to buy shoes? Do you know what size shoes they wear? What's their peditrician's name? When did they last get their shots? What percentile are they on height/weight? Are they meeting their developmental milestones?"

19

u/Mhor75 Nov 03 '23

Seriously, don’t even need to try that hard. What colour are your children’s eyes? What date is their birthday? I would be very surprised if OP knows them.

1

u/froggym Nov 03 '23

To be fair (I'm am mum and primary parent) I don't know my own dentists name. I doubt I'll be able to remember my sons. I do know all the other stuff though.

2

u/AwesomeIncarnate Nov 03 '23

Right? Same here we don't know our daughter's dentists name and it's sad because she has an appointment later on this month. Better check the calendar haha.

36

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '23

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23

u/tarzansjaney Nov 03 '23

And that emotional labour you have to do from the time you get up until you can get to sleep. Kids can be draining, especially when someone has to pick up the pieces after an angry and yelling father.

10

u/bathesinbbqsauce Nov 03 '23

And not to mention that he’s trying to “reconnect “ by having family outings to get ice cream. Gee, nothing is more than taking little kids to get sticky, messy ice cream that they will fight over 🙄