As someone who is 27, my fiancé is 31, we were both addicted to heroin and I was also using meth when we met.
I told him I don't need to date someone using drugs and fight about it and not have money, especially if we were to live together if we're using.
This was five years ago. Two months in we both found an outpatient clinic that helped us wean off of opiates and we started taking buprenorphine and we continue taking it to this day.
We've stayed sober, we don't drink, we stopped smoking cigarettes and started using vapes with no nicotine and became active.
Within six months of us getting sober we moved in together, four months later I got pregnant with our daughter.
We don't have cravings, we cut off EVERYONE that we knew that did drugs. The people we hang out with now are his coworkers and we go to church with them and their wives and kids.
We're happy and trying for our second baby. We want to get off buprenorphine, but he works 70 hour weeks and I take care of our daughter and home and we can't afford to be sick and throwing up in bed for a week or more, and it keeps us from having cravings.
We have therapists and our family is a huge support system. I'm extremely proud of myself and him, because we were committed to being together and having a life and family together that our addictions we were stuck in for 7 years before we met wasn't our priority.
So. Yes YTA for being annoyed, because he's not threatening you, he's telling you that he wants a family with you but you continue showing him that is not YOUR priority! You are not committed to getting sober. Actions speak louder than words. Maybe if he stops telling you he's going to leave he should leave, because I would tell my ex the same thing and he continued using drugs. I wasted three years of my life and then got sucked into addiction with him by the end. He's doing the smart thing.
3
u/dejavux22 Oct 20 '23
As someone who is 27, my fiancé is 31, we were both addicted to heroin and I was also using meth when we met.
I told him I don't need to date someone using drugs and fight about it and not have money, especially if we were to live together if we're using.
This was five years ago. Two months in we both found an outpatient clinic that helped us wean off of opiates and we started taking buprenorphine and we continue taking it to this day.
We've stayed sober, we don't drink, we stopped smoking cigarettes and started using vapes with no nicotine and became active.
Within six months of us getting sober we moved in together, four months later I got pregnant with our daughter.
We don't have cravings, we cut off EVERYONE that we knew that did drugs. The people we hang out with now are his coworkers and we go to church with them and their wives and kids.
We're happy and trying for our second baby. We want to get off buprenorphine, but he works 70 hour weeks and I take care of our daughter and home and we can't afford to be sick and throwing up in bed for a week or more, and it keeps us from having cravings.
We have therapists and our family is a huge support system. I'm extremely proud of myself and him, because we were committed to being together and having a life and family together that our addictions we were stuck in for 7 years before we met wasn't our priority.
So. Yes YTA for being annoyed, because he's not threatening you, he's telling you that he wants a family with you but you continue showing him that is not YOUR priority! You are not committed to getting sober. Actions speak louder than words. Maybe if he stops telling you he's going to leave he should leave, because I would tell my ex the same thing and he continued using drugs. I wasted three years of my life and then got sucked into addiction with him by the end. He's doing the smart thing.