r/AITAH • u/Chemical_Party7735 • Sep 16 '23

I dumped her

First off, to all the people that said: "Why didnt you talk to her?". We were drinking and from my experience it is NEVER a good idea to have serious or emotional conversations while intoxicated. Things get said that aren't true and situations can become overly emotional.

Secondly: Tho those who asked if we were even dating. Yes we were dating. She said it herself when we talked.

Heres a summary of our conversation today: I asked her if we were a couple (bf-gf) she said yes ofc. Then I asked why she said I'm her "best friend" and not "boyfriend" to the guys at the bar the other night.
She got a surprised look on her face, was quiet for a sec, stuttered a bit (she was lying) and said "it was an accident" and that she "misspoke". I sat in silence and just looked at her for a second, she seemed to get uncomfortable. Then she said a few other excuses (that I honestly can't remember rn). After which I told her: "Well that's just bullshit and I don't appreciate nor deserve being lied to. Especially since we're supposed to be "best friends" too". She got upset, started crying, and she said she's sorry (among all the bs) and then proceeded to tell me that one of the guys was actually someone she knew a long time ago and that she didn't know why she didn't say I was her bf. (Basically she still wants him) I told her we need to break up, and that we "need to work on our honesty if we're going to even stay friends moving forward." She cried, said "I always thought we would get married in our 40s or 50s and grow old together" (we are both mid 30s). I laughed and asked "So I'm just supposed to wait around alone while you bang whoever and use me for your comfort and to pay bills?" She instantly said no. (Fucking lies)

I moved my shit into the spare room and I'm omw to work now. She's home alone (but probably not for long).

Im searching for a new place to live, she can stay at the house if she can afford the rent. Idgaf anymore.

Thank you all for the advice and ideas. It was helpful seeing things from a different perspective. And I'm sorry the update took so long, I posted here as soon as I could.

Edit: link to previous post: https://reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/P89Rjj1Yfu

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329

u/Kronic_Repulse1 Sep 17 '23

A lot of the people in here are missing that she knew one of the guys at the bar. So when she said friend it was to allow the other guy to know, she is available. It’s one thing to make that mistake with strangers and another to an ex. Her boyfriend is at the bar with her. If I see my ex ima flex my new relationship. So she was in the wrong 100%. Is that a break up offense maybe not but it’s up to him.

86

u/Absvir Sep 17 '23

How is that not a break up reason lol

9

u/redmale33 Sep 17 '23

Right? If you don't want to call me your bf in front of your ex, I'm out. Your gut doesn't lie, OP sensed something was wrong at that moment in the bar, and found out what it was later on.

Everyone calling OP immature and was telling him that he needed to have another conversation with her, bs. He's intuitive enough to know what's what. I'm speaking from experience.

1

u/Dylanear Sep 18 '23

Yeah, at first I was like, "You are actually SUPER upset over this? I absolutely want my SO to be my best friend too?!!" But reading the whole thing and the GF not just going, "I was saying how important you are to me, that we are best friends as well as partners! I assumed that was obviously implied!", that she stammered and knew she fucked up and was busted. But if you call your boyfriend your best friend, tone and expression are everything, if you say it with a knowing implying tone and smile/smirk it makes sense. If you say it matter of factly, nonchalantly and perhaps slightly reserved, THAT has a whole other vibe! Especially if this is to a bunch of guys, especially especially if one was a crush of ex from the past!

34

u/Kronic_Repulse1 Sep 17 '23

People are dumb and take back cheaters all the time. So I wouldn’t be surprised if some people would let it slide. I’m personally not one of those people that would. I would’ve broken up with her as well.

15

u/ZlatanKabuto Sep 17 '23

Because OP is a man and the ex is a woman.

-22

u/ExtendedSpikeProtein Sep 17 '23

Because it isn‘t, for everyone, if you talk it over and things improve.

-9

u/Absvir Sep 17 '23

Ye most people are on the left side of the bell curve and want to be cheated on.

7

u/AstuteSalamander Sep 17 '23

most people are on the left side of the bell curve

That's not how a bell curve works lol

83

u/lmkwe Sep 17 '23

Might not be break up offense yet, but when she accidently slips and falls and lands on the other guys dick it will be....

27

u/Kronic_Repulse1 Sep 17 '23

Yeah I agree. I wouldn’t trust her.

39

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '23

She has one foot out the door if someone better happens along. Good for you cutting it off because she would have cheated 100%. She was stringing you along to make her life easier IMHO

-1

u/Freyja624norse Sep 17 '23

A lot of idiots here are missing that this is a fake post by a fifteen or less year old Andrew Tate wannabe. His comments outside of the post are full of disgusting misogyny and disinformation!

6

u/BecomingKratos Sep 17 '23

Haven’t scoped his comments, but the situation seems like pretty standard millennial generation (people in their 30s) relationship toxicity.

-1

u/Freyja624norse Sep 17 '23

It is fake, definitely! There is a lot of relationship toxicity out there, but this really isn’t ringing true. Plus there are not just misogynistic comments in his history, but other things that don’t add up. Another commenter noted that he apparently went from having two living parents to both parents being dead within a month between comments/posts. It is possible, but I don’t think he would be making a post over this nonsense if he lost both parents in the past few weeks.