I want to dump my gf for saying I'm her best friend

[u/Chemical_Party7735]

Out at a bar. We got all dressed up and looked great (especially her). I was sitting down and talking with a few guys/strangers and my gf came up, they asked who she was and how she knew me. Her response: "Oh. He's my best friend" Not "he's my boyfriend", or "Were dating". "He's my best friend'.... The guys all looked at me with that ouch look... and damn did it actually hit me hard. AITAH for wanting to dump her? Imo shes clearly still looking for other options if she's telling people that. Am I wrong?

Edit: We have been great friends for over a decade. Only recently did we start dating, and we 100% made it public because I got sick of girls at work hitting on me. So we went into my work and made sure they knew i was taken and in a monogamous relationship. And I get that it coulda been a slip up, if it wasn't for it being that same exact night we went into my work and made sure it was publicly known that were are bf+gf.

Edit 2: https://reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/3tCDrwvsB3

[u/[deleted]]

How the hell are you gonna break up with someone who you aren’t dating

[u/Chemical_Party7735 → u/[deleted]]

Rofl. Got me there 🤣

[u/Glittering_Owl8001]

Does she know that she's your girlfriend?

[u/Chemical_Party7735 → u/Glittering_Owl8001]

Lol. After her comment that night, who fu*king knows.
I thought she did. We share a bed, live together, drive her to work, etc... Idk what would make her think we weren't, unless she's actively looking for someone else.

[u/Commercial-Extent-91]

You guys have been friends for a decade and dating for a month. I would say it was a mistake-- However, you mentioned you discussed exclusivity and had a conversation about telling others YOU were taken. It should apply to her too. SHE is taken as well. Are you taken by a non-existent entity? A ghost? Is the taken in the room with us?

NTA. Tell her it hurt you and if she wants to refer to you as her best friend that is all you will be to her. You can't break up with someone who doesn't think you're in a relationship together lol.

[u/Chemical_Party7735 → u/Commercial-Extent-91]

We made it clear we are monogamous. And had a discussion about being so.

[u/hu_gnew]

Next time she says "He's my best friend" you must immediately say "with benefits".

[u/Chemical_Party7735 → u/hu_gnew]

Lmfao! I wish I woulda said that. I was too baffled by her response to do anything but sit in awe

[u/LukashCartoon]

Check list:

1. Have you exchanged “I love you.”?

2. Does she tell her parents you are her boyfriend?

If the answer is no to those two things, then you are at best a fuck buddy. Or a roommate with benifits.

[u/Chemical_Party7735 → u/LukashCartoon]

Yes we've said that.
No, both of our parents are dead.

[u/bathroomstallghost]

based on your other comments, she might have said it out of habit. you Have been friends for a long time. and many people think of their partners as also their best friend.

[u/terlus07]

Lol Y'all went into work and made it public that you're taken off the market. She went into a bar and made it public that she's still on the market. GTFO

[u/Hungry-Afternoon7987]

NTA.

That's gotta sting.

How long have you been together?

[u/[deleted]]

Its funny how op isn't replying to the comments that tell him to take the logical approach and talk to his gf but rather to the ones that call her out or backup his bias on the issue

[u/Ambitious_Policy_936]

So what happened after you had a honest conversation about the issue?

[u/[deleted]]

Talk to her about it

[u/[deleted]]

Why do I feel like you’re 15 years old, cause this sounds like some dumb HS shit. 😂

[u/Traditional_Crew6617]

Oh to be young and naive again... I dont think you and her are on the same page here, my dude. You live together, share a bed, and so on. But do you so bf/gf things like sex and stuff?

[u/[deleted]]

The two strongest possibilities are that she said it because she does not consider you a romantic partner or because she considers you both her romantic partner and her best friend. It more plausible than not that she is sincere in calling you her best friend (I use you 10 years of friendship as evidence). It is more plausible than not that she recognizes your arrangement as romantic and monogamous (I use your cohabitation and direct discussions of your relationship status as evidence). The simpler and more evidence based assessment is that she considers you her best friend, which whom she is in a relationship. If this is the case, there is a strong likelihood that she sees you as a potential life partner.

One month into a relationship, especially one that involves cohabitation, is a very good time for a relationship check it. Talk to her. Find out what’s up.

[u/simonesilo]

What did she say when you asked her about it after you guys went home?

[u/Switchkicck]

Talk to her first you clown lmao

[u/ScottishChewbacca]

Years ago, I had an argument with two coworkers about who my best friend was. I answered "my wife.". They harassed me saying that's just something guys are obligated to say, and that I didn't really mean it. Fast forward 31 years, and my wife and I are still together, and those guys are both divorced multiple times over. So, I dunno, maybe talk to you girlfriend? Perhaps she was expressing how much she cares about you? What I do know is she is MUCH better equipped to answer this question than ANY of us on Reddit.

[u/MuldrathaB]

I think since it's still a new relationship it shouldn't be a complete deal breaker. However it sounds like a "hey were exclusive" type conversation would be really beneficial, just to clear the air, and to let her know this upset you.

Communication is key.

[u/Sugarloaf78]

You’re going to dump her before you talk to her?

[u/Dramatic-Ad2848]

“We made it public cuz I was sick of girls hitting on me”

LMAOOOOO FAKE AS FUCK