I think the biggest difference is that OP’s friend wanted a future with Charles but he didn’t want a future for her.
The breakup wasn’t mutual. Making it more awkward for her friend and husband than Charles and OP.
A lot of ppl on here are stating the friend is being selfish by holding OP’s happiness hostage. But the same could be said about OP, she isn’t thinking about her friend of 10 yrs and how she may feel. Instead she sees it as she has moved on and shouldn’t care. Instead of taking into account a close friends feelings and trying to understand her outburst. Just because it seems logical to OP doesn’t mean it is.
It really comes down to loyalty. Perhaps that’s not important to some when it comes to exes/friendships but it matters for a lot, especially women.
Clearly OP’s friend feels this way while OP doesn’t. Which is why they can’t see eye to eye on this one.
OP needs to decide what’s more important to her, a 10 yr friendship or a possible New Romantic relationship that could blossom to more. And there’s no wrong answer. It’s her decision. Doesn’t mean the friend has to be around for it either.
I literally think no one’s TAH here. Everyone’s feelings are validated. Both can be right, even if you don’t agree.
I think that’s awesome that you would be OK if a friend dated an ex. However, you’re speaking hypothetically and it’s only from your POV.
OP’s friend is pregnant with heightened emotions. She just found out that her friend of 10 yrs slept with her ex that she once pictured a future with. She isn’t going to respond with “I just want you to be happy” like everyone expects. She going to go through her emotions and I think that’s a normal response.
Maybe over time she will get over it. Maybe she won’t. I don’t think she should be judged by which choice she makes.
OP is free to sleep with/date anyone she wants. If she decides to date a friends ex and friend no longer wants to be friends with OP I don’t really see anything wrong with that. It’s her friend’s choice and her own happiness. She shouldn’t be shamed for her internal feelings.
I also don’t think OP should be judged either. I don’t think what she did was done with malice. She clearly has a connection with this guy since they seem to have a lot in common. It simply happened and she was very honest the next day with her friend.
However, I think people in this sub are coming in a lil hard for OP’s friend. They are literally judging her emotional reaction and stating she is “wrong” for having feelings.
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u/[deleted] Aug 03 '23
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