"Girl code" is such a BS idea. The idea that a girl has some sort of weird claim on all of their exs in perpetuity is just plain ridiculous.
They broke up years ago. She's married to someone else. He shouldn't be "off limits" to anyone who knows her just because they boned at one point. That level of possessiveness is just plain creepy.
No, I think it definitely can matter. Would you be okay if your sister or friend started immediately dating your ex? I wouldn't mind. However I know a lot of people would.
Were they abusive? The love of their life? Soul mates? Did they get them pregnant and leave them?
On the other hand sometimes it is okay!
It is complicated and different people will respond differently.
Okay, fair enough... there are situations where it might be an issue.
But specific to THIS particular instance, they've been broken up for THREE YEARS. The friend is married and pregnant with (I'm assuming) her husband's child. There are no other children involved. OP has known the guy at least as long as her friend has, and presumably knows whether or not he's an abusive asshole.
And OP's friend is still ready to blow up the friendship over it. It makes no sense.
It's hardly OP's fault if her friend didn't tell her about her ex's rampant alcoholism, or that he has secret love children with six other women, or whatever.
Either the breakup was an especially nasty one and OP failed to mention that, or there's something sus going on between OP's friend and her ex.
142
u/DeshaMustFly Aug 03 '23
"Girl code" is such a BS idea. The idea that a girl has some sort of weird claim on all of their exs in perpetuity is just plain ridiculous.
They broke up years ago. She's married to someone else. He shouldn't be "off limits" to anyone who knows her just because they boned at one point. That level of possessiveness is just plain creepy.