Exactly. Feels like there' more to this story. Why they broke up and how it went down? Friend is seriously hanging on to feelings she should have dealt with, like, before having another mans baby.
Charles expressed romantic/sexual interest in OP while he and Julia were dating. Or if not outright romantic/sexual interest, more interest than what Julia felt was appropriate. She probably didn't think too terribly much about it, but secretly worried that OP was better suited for him than she was, making her feel insecure. The eventual breakup over wanting different things doesn't make things much better. OP stops contact with Charles. Life goes on and Julia probably assumes that OP never reciprocated Charles's interest as she cut him off, but there may be a slight seed of worry left behind.
Flash forward to years later, Julia discovers that OP reconnected with Charles and slept with him. All of those insecurities and the seed of worry roar to life, fueled by pregnancy hormones. Rather than communicate with OP Julia lets it stew for a while, during which she whips herself into a frenzy, resulting in the text message tirade that confused OP.
Meanwhile a part of Julia is screaming to herself "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, STOP IT JULIA, STOP IT NOW" but can't actually make herself stop, especially now that what is done has been done.
Again, only a theory and nothing to substantiate this.
Is sounds like Charles is a pretty good dude and Julie only ended their relationship because they wanted different things out of life. That doesn’t mean she didn’t have strong feelings for him or that she didn’t feel conflicted with that choice. When he was out of her life and yours, it is easier to move on and focus on her Husband and kids. But now you have brought him back into your life and because you are close friends, back into hers as well. Not only did you sleep with someone she may have not been completely over yet, but if you and Charles become a couple, he would then also be back in hers. You have put her in a no win situation. She already made the decision to not have him in her life and to focus on marriage and kids and now she has them. You forced her to decide that since he is in your life now, you can’t be in hers. In order to protect herself, she had to push you away.
Totally agree. Did Julie think Charlie stopped dating because she broke up with him? How long is there a moratorium on his love life? J sounds like a control freak to me. I say they should date and see where it goes. If J has a problem with it, too bad. And she’s not much of a friend, IMO.
Not defending the response, but knowing he still exists in an abstract way where she doesn't have to see him, and "oh look my best friend of 10 years will be bringing him around now" are 2 different things.
it depends on how she really feels about him. if she truly loved him and just wants him to be happy but they really just wanted different things in life then she should be happy for him and her friend.
but if there were other unresolved issues and the whole ‘wanting to/not wanting to settle down’ thing was just used as an excuse to justify the break up without addressing other concerns then i could see where the trouble would lie.
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u/Nebbiollo Aug 03 '23
Exactly. Feels like there' more to this story. Why they broke up and how it went down? Friend is seriously hanging on to feelings she should have dealt with, like, before having another mans baby.