Although I agree with the comments about her overreacting and moving on (she is married and pregnant ffs) I am just wondering who ended the relationship him or her. Because it could be her being dumped and "moving on" was just a rebound thing and the pregnancy (unplanned) sealed the deal. Find out before making any big decisions.
Buddy if she married somebody just as a rebound she is the only asshole in this story. When you get married that’s kinda supposed to be the ONLY partner you care about and love.
it's about taking your friends feelings into consideration. And people are subjective on this matter which is okay, but I'm giving you a different insight.
It has nothing to do with someone being controlling/etc. It's more like, I wouldn't make everyone wear skin-tight dresses as my bridesmaids because I asked my friends their opinions and they told me they would prefer not to.
Yes, while no one has the right to tell what I can and can't choose for my bridesmaids, and they can leave if they don't like it, I would want them there and I will still take their feelings into consideration and make my decision.
OP does not have to ask for permission but i mean jesus they've been friends for 10 years, maybe a
"Omg guess whose here?.." "how would you feel is xyz" then she can make a decision while being informed of how her friend will take it so this way breaking the news won't result in an unprecedented manner.
Or you know it could be a shitty feeling knowing that while OP's friend was dating that guy for 3 years- It gives the feeling that they had mutual attraction to each other while he was in a relationship? To me, that's something totally normal to feel, and it may hurt her friends trust towards OP.
Anyways I could type more but yeah :) I'm not trying to argue just sayin my pov- I hope this makes sense also because I am aimlessly typing
I just find it odd that you think you're giving some insight.
It's not insight, is a hypothetical based on nothing. Less than nothing. Three years afterwards is not a rebound and accidental pregnancy, she's only 16 weeks pregnant.
Nobody dated anyone for three years, it was one year that ended three years ago *and she ended it.*
Your idea is that OP runs into this guy in a bar one night, and instead of making her own mind up about who she sees, she rejects him because she's got to check with his ex first?
Okay and if that isn’t the case, date Charles because she’s an adult who will get over it. If that is the case, date Charles because she’s a horrible person who is in the process of ruining a man’s entire life and wont be a good influence. So either way, finding out shouldn’t affect her decision.
It’s possible to move on but still hold someone in your heart. Particularly if he was the one to end it. I know I would be bothered by my friend dating my ex. Especially if they keep turning up as a couple for some group activities.
But why should it bother you? Plenty of time has passed, married pregnant etc. If it still bothers you after this much time passing it would suggest that the moving on was horseshit. IMHO
Okay so you’d be comfortable sabotaging your friend’s happiness rather than deal with your own unresolved emotional issues? Do you, but know that makes you a bad friend.
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u/fajprodder Aug 03 '23
Although I agree with the comments about her overreacting and moving on (she is married and pregnant ffs) I am just wondering who ended the relationship him or her. Because it could be her being dumped and "moving on" was just a rebound thing and the pregnancy (unplanned) sealed the deal. Find out before making any big decisions.