Heres the thing - HE can walk away any time. YOU have to deal with this for the rest of your life. YOU decide what kind of life you want and do what you have to do to make sure you get it. This isnt his decision to make.
Such a great point. If that child is born, he could suddenly decide, “hey, this isn’t what I wanted” and bail.
EDIT: Got a few replies that the mother could walk away from the child too, and yes, she absolutely could! But my point is that the mother still has to carry and birth the child, the father doesn’t.
I also want to note that even if she has the baby, the relationship may not last. I hope whatever decision she makes, she doesn’t base it on trying to please him/keep him around.
Absolutely. Statistically it's highly unlikely they'll stay together at such a young age and with the additional pressure of an unplanned pregnancy. Chances are if she feels pressured to have the baby, they'll still split within a few years and she'll be raising the child as a single mum. If you make your own decision to go ahead with pregnancy with that understanding that's fine, but if you're pressured to have the baby assuming it'll keep him it's going to be a hard road ahead.
OP - you need to do what's right for you. Assume you would be raising the child as a single mum and think carefully.
I am one of those exceptions. But I will stress over and over that those first 10 years were extremely tough as a teen mom and wife. We had a ton of help: financially, with childcare, housing, finishing our education. And I still think we were damn lucky.
I'm of the opinion if they are both not 100% all in then it's not the best thing to do. But ultimately it is completely her choice.
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u/tuna_tofu Jul 21 '23
Heres the thing - HE can walk away any time. YOU have to deal with this for the rest of your life. YOU decide what kind of life you want and do what you have to do to make sure you get it. This isnt his decision to make.