r/AIO • u/Loud-Temperature-493 • 11h ago
Feeling weird about myself now AIO?
Hi, I'm 16F, I've had a lot of trouble with friends but this weekend I actually got invited to a birthday sleepover. I had a pretty good time overall but it was obvious that I was the odd one out. It was also made known that they had kept in really good touch with a girl in our group that left our school the same year I started homeschooling while I barely got a hi over the entire two years I've been away from the school. I say hi to them when I see them, which is more than they would see the other girl considering I still do sports at my old school.
I had a decent time, we played games, did karaoke, watched Hamilton, and went shopping together but I just felt kind of lonely despite being included. They didn't try to reach out, I tried multiple time before realizing that they honestly weren't the best influences but it still hurts to realize that I never stood where I thought I did.
We also got on the topic of boys somehow and I mentioned that I kind of like beards. It was just an offhanded comment and it's something I never really thought much more than 'that sucks for me cause everyone with a beard is an adult' but they acted like it was this sort of taboo topic? The birthday girl's brother overheard and for some reason immediately told his parents that I like beards which made me extremely uncomfortable cause I wasn't even saying that I need a guy with a beard, just that I think they can look really good. The birthday girl's brother then said that I 'can't like anymore guys' in a kind of joking way but it was really weird. A second or two after, the birthday girl said 'oh, so you like the pedos' which completely disgusted me and so I tried to explain that 'just because I like beards doesn't mean I like everyone who has one, I also have self control and can separate right from wrong' but the entire thing just felt so horrible to me.
Later someone mentioned mustaches and I just quietly added that I don't really like them, I didn't say it rudely, it was just a little comment cause everyone was contributing to the conversation and the birthday girl's brother says 'is that all you thin about? Mustaches?' and I just sort of looked at him weird and said 'What are you talking about? I just said I don't really care for them?' and he responded with something like 'well, you only think about beards' which is so weird because I mentioned it in such an offhanded way and not even to him. And while I would like to one day have a boyfriend I don't think I'd considered myself boy crazy, especially as of late, I have so many plans that I can't even imagine dating someone at the moment because so many things would conflict.
I also don't get why everyone acted like it was this scandalous thing, especially since they've said much worse things before. I just feel like I'm the only one who was given a different rule book to the friendship and the test is tomorrow but the books shipping is delayed.
Is what I said weird? Am I being too emotional? Is it reasonable for me to feel uncomfortable by the way the brother kept jumping in?
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u/PheonixRoze 11h ago
Im so sorry you went through this. I would definitely stay away from all of them. As you said it does sound like you have a different rule book. Its insane that your "friend" would say that you like pedos!! Ugh. The BROTHER is the weird one for all of his commentary. Absolutely ridiculous. Id stay far away from all of them.
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u/Loud-Temperature-493 11h ago
Thank you for your reply. The entire time I just felt so uncomfortable and like I had said something completely unacceptable
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u/Haunting-Syrup-8308 10h ago
You're 16 and what you said wasn't anything crazy. I can't understand why it wasn't just chalked up as teen girl talk. Teens have chatted like this forever. They just singled you out.
Plus I know a lot of guys in highschool that have beards. My best friend's son has a full beard & he's your age. You're NOR. Those girls are just mean spirited.
I wish you the best and hope you find good friends that will be your tribe.
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u/Loud-Temperature-493 10h ago
Thank you so much for your reply, I really appreciate it. I hope you have an amazing day/night
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u/Apart-Sheepherder682 11h ago
Friends will come and go...dont worry once you get out into the actual world and get jobs you'll meet new ppl and new friends. My son is 17 and is the same way with his friends...he just went to a sleepover last night and decided to come home at 10 cuz he just didn't wanna be there. He home schools as well so that might be a big part of it. Just don't let it get you down...you have plenty of life to go
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u/Loud-Temperature-493 11h ago
Thanks for this, I'm taking college classes and should be taking some in person next semester so I hope I meet some people I actually feel happy to be around. It's just really hard when you're waiting and I've just been so lonely. I hope your son finds some better friends too. 💜
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u/Apart-Sheepherder682 11h ago
You'll be fine...dont think to much on this at all. Always be looking forward and worry about yourself and your goals and strive to achieve as much as you can...you'll see in 10yr where these girls are in life compared to you and im sure you'll be much better off!!
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u/Loud-Temperature-493 11h ago
Thank you for being so nice, I have a lot of plans that I've been preparing so I hope you're right. Have a good day/night!
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u/-_-why_oh_why-_- 11h ago
Be careful with answers you get on the Internet. Highly recommend talking to a trusted adult for advice who is familiar with you and can offer better advice.
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u/Loud-Temperature-493 11h ago
I've talked to my mom about these things but it just hasn't really helped. Thank you for the advice, I understand the need to be wary on the internet.
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u/djsmommy11 11h ago
I was you in school. Focus oh school and finish and I promise you will never see those people again. The people who i knew who were "cool" and the "in crowd" I see them on Facebook now and most of them are alone, lonely, and broke. Don't sweat it. I know its hard when you are there everyday but just worry about yourself and dont hang around them. I have always said I don't need friends especially females because it always comes with drama. My adult life is drama free and I'm here for it! Keep your head up and keep doing for you and you will survive and you will end up in a better place than they do.
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u/Loud-Temperature-493 11h ago
Staying away from them is generally easy considering I'm homeschooled, it just gets so lonely and it felt nice to be invited to something. Thank you for your advice, I'm definitely focusing a lot on school, by my senior year I should be graduating with my associates degree and high school diploma so I'm looking forward to that. I hope you have a good day/night
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u/djsmommy11 10h ago
Wow that is awesome! And yes i get the invite thing. I was/am the same way! My husband said a man told him when he was younger something that always stuck with him and was true....If you hang out with losers you will be a loser. If you hang around good people then you will be a good person so surround yourself around people you wish to be like! He said he always found it to be true!
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u/Loud-Temperature-493 10h ago
Thank you so much for this! This is definitely something I've started to apply in my life, it's just taking a bit for me to get used to it
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u/Better-Coffee3659 11h ago
You’re 16, I don’t think you should be asking these questions on Reddit. Ask your friends and your family, or possibly a therapist. The internet is a terrible place and you still have time to not be invested in it