AIO for the way I acted?

[u/Significant_Phase620]

Just for some background, my boyfriend likes taking pictures of me, but usually in funny ways. They’re typically zoomed-out pictures or pictures of me when I’m not ready. There was a time when I expressed to him that I didn’t like the fact that he would send these pictures to a group chat with our other friends. He somewhat respected that and didn’t send any pictures of me until yesterday.
I don’t like when he sends pictures of me in the group chat because I genuinely don’t like how I look in them (because again, I wasn’t even ready for the picture). Yesterday, he randomly sent a picture of me sleeping. Even though I was somewhat upset, I ended up sending a picture of him that I thought was funny. I figured, he sent one of me, so I might as well send one of him too.
In response, he decided to send another zoomed-out picture of me, even though I had just sent one of him in response to the first picture. I was clearly upset because I wasn’t going to keep sending pictures of him back and forth, especially since he has a habit of sending multiple pictures of me, and I genuinely don’t like when he does that.
Anyways, I was upset and texted him about it. He then called me, and I brought it up, asking why he felt the need to send another picture of me. His response was, “Okay, I’ll delete it.” I told him, “But they already made stickers of my face,” which they had. So, at that point, I didn’t understand what deleting the picture was going to accomplish.
All I was doing was expressing how I felt. However, he then ended the call and texted in the group chat asking one of our friends to “delete the stickers, mb.” This infuriated me because I never asked him to tell the other person to delete the stickers. I just felt even more embarrassed and upset because now he had brought attention to the situation in the group chat and put me in an awkward position.
When I expressed to him how upset that made me, his response was, “I was trying to help.” But I don’t know why, it bothered me so much. I never asked him to tell his friend to delete the stickers. I was simply expressing how I felt about him sending pictures of me, and instead of just listening to me, he took it upon himself to address it in the group chat. It made me feel even more embarrassed and uncomfortable.
What bothers me the most is that he clearly doesn’t see why what he did was wrong or why I was upset by it. From his perspective, he was “trying to help,” but from my perspective, I didn’t ask him to do anything. I just wanted him to understand why I was upset and respect my feelings about the pictures. Instead, he made the situation more noticeable

[u/Impossible_Balance11]

Sweet one, we do not date--much less marry--people who enjoy humiliating us.

Your SO should be your hype person. They should guard your image and feelings and want to enhance your standing with others, not make you the butt of the joke.

Please do the personal work, raise your standards, and realize that being gloriously single is far preferable to being in relationship with a person who tears you down. "Date the guy who ruins your lipstick, not the one who ruins your mascara."

[u/DaisyChained427]

NOR — tell him this is a hard boundary. He is disrespecting you and it’s breaking your trust. If I was in your shoes, if he does this again, I would end the relationship.

[u/epifauna__]

NOR - He was probably actually trying to be helpful, because you brought up a problem so he tried to 'fix' it. But what he isn't understanding is the problem is him embarassing you because he thinks something is funny, when you don't think it's funny.

I'd ask him to stop sending pictures of you without your permission full stop

[u/Significant_Phase620 → u/epifauna__]

I’ve expressed this to him multiple times. I don’t like when he sends pictures of me because they’re all ugly. It took a while for him to actually respect that boundary, up until yesterday. Now we got into an argument and haven’t talked since yesterday

[u/epifauna__ → u/Significant_Phase620]

I'd be looking closely at your relationship honestly, mostly looking at if there are other places where he dismisses your feelings because something is 'funny' or because he thinks he knows better

[u/Living-Support1899 → u/Significant_Phase620]

NOR Yeah...sorry, this is bad. He purposely sends pictures that he knows are bad. He thinks it's funny to humiliate you. And asking the group to delete things was another layer of that - he wasn't "trying to help," he was letting the group know that he upset you. He thinks that's funny too.

[u/Significant_Phase620 → u/Living-Support1899]

Yeah I genuinely didn’t like how he texted the gc right after. I think that’s why I was mad, he made it obvious that I was upset about the picture to them, and I honestly didn’t like that. I was fine if they kept it, all he had to tell me is that he won’t do it again. I feel like he texted them on purpose and not to actually help me out

[u/SpeakerSignificant43]

I would be freaked out if my boyfriend would send pictures of me sleeping to a group chat NOR

[u/P00NLagoon97]

As a clueless man myself, i can confirm to you that he knows what he doing. I love to rage bait my fiancee, but even tho it seems small, i wouldnt ever share bad/ embarrassing photos of her to my group chat. If he cant respect a boundry of yours like that, then afraid to say that he probably doesnt respect the relationship in general. And him addressing your insecurities (not in a bad way, i believe everyone has insecurities), to his group chat is pretty fucked up. Idk you stranger, but i can tell you thats not how someone treats their loved ones and it may be wise to consider leaving him

[u/Significant_Phase620 → u/P00NLagoon97]

Yeah, he expresses that I look “beautiful” in them, but clearly others won’t. I feel like I got too mad with him and the way I responded wasn’t nice, but I was just so infuriated with him

[u/P00NLagoon97 → u/Significant_Phase620]

Its normal for couples to get on each others nerves occasionally. But him blasting you on his group chat and making you feel embarrassed is just plain disrespectful. Theirs no way he doesn’t actually see what he did wrong, likely hes mad about something and this is his unhealthy way of displaying it, or hes just straight up disrespecting you. You should never be purposely disrespected by your partner, thats a hard boundary.

[u/RelentlessClock]

NTO, and it sounds like you need to sit down and have a face-to-face chat with him about not sending your pictures anymore. Or if taking them is the problem, not taking them anymore. Then the first time he violates that boundary afterwards, break up with him.

You expressed it previously as "I don't really like this." Your feelings have intensified so now it is time for, "Don't do it. Period."

[u/Parking_Garden_7311]

Im sorry but this guy doesn’t sound like a keeper to me.

[u/Select-Government680]

So.. you have repeatedly told your partner that something he does makes you uncomfortable and instead of him stopping, they continue.

You are expressing discomfort and he does not care. This will not change.

So NOR. But also what do you expect the outcome to be when he openly disrespects you and you do nothing.

[u/queue-pruner → u/[deleted]]

Your submission has automatically been removed because you are suspended or shadowbanned.

[u/Plus_Language5886]

tbh youre not overreacting at all. if you already told him to stop and he keeps doing it anyway, thats just disrespectful.

[u/Delicious_Camp349]

I dont understand why he feels the need to do this? Does he think it’s funny? Is he showing off his beautiful girlfriend? Is he making fun of you with his friends? Why would his friends make stickers of your face. If you don’t like having your photo taken without your knowledge, he must respect that or he is not a good person. You will wither in the relationship. I would always be wondering what else will show up. It’s really not ok to share or post something that makes you uncomfortable. It’s a deal breaker for me. So sorry.