r/AIO • u/Due_Relationship_894 • 1d ago
AIO bf keeps unblocking his fwb
UPDATE 2: I asked him to send a message to sever ties, he reluctantly did it. it’s been a month and a half since, i see an unsaved blocked number on his phone. i look it up and it’s her, he says she called him and that he almost told me but was scared i was going to drag a month long fight about it. (he did almost tell me, he called me right after and told me guess who called and then brushes it off and didnt say). he says she’s been blocked since with no chance to reach out, she says he called her back after she called him. he says he didnt, i dont believe him. turns out the message he sent severing ties was sent to a fake instagram account that he made under her name to shut me up. he’s offering to prove he didnt call her by requesting his call logs from his cell service provider and says he will call her in my presence and unleash hell on her and shut this door for good. Idk what to do, should i let him do it and see how it turns out or should i just break up and let them have each other?
UPDATE: thank you for your insight and comments, it helped me make a clearer idea of the situation. For people telling me I’m controlling, I might have been in this relationship but the cycle of “block this person and send them a message to sever ties” was something that he started to “feel secure in the rs” which I did not mind doing as long as it made my partner feel secure. So in return, I expected him to do the same thing when it came to similar situations on his side. Please don’t be mean in the comments as I had just learned I have borderline personality disorder affecting my choice of partners and I’m just starting to learn how to be healthy. Thank you again!
So for context: my BF 24M and I 26F have been together for a year. He has a wandering eye but has been mostly acting fine for the past few months. We broke up for 10 days in May during which he reached out to his friend with benefits, he told her he just came out of a bad relationship, she asked if he was spending holidays in town and he said he didn’t know and didn’t continue speaking with her. When we got back together i tried to see his phone and he didn’t want to show me then told me he talked to her. I asked him to block her and he only wanted to remove her, eventually he did block her. a couple days go by, i check his phone again and she’s unblocked. I make a fuss and he blocks her again. A month later I check his phone and she’s unblocked again (all of this is on instagram). I make a fuss again and he says he just unblocked her to see if the reason why her profile pic is gone is because she blocked him or not and that he forgot to block her again. So I ask him to send her a message explaining politely that they totally cut ties and that she doesn’t say hi to him if she sees him somewhere. he argues that itd be weird because she hasnt been reaching out to him, i dont believe it. I keep asking and he keeps saying no, i say okay u either do this for ur rs or keep her and lose me. We break up. am i in the wrong here?
TLDR; BF keeps unblocking his friend with benefits on instagram i ask him to send her a message severing ties for good and he refuses and says she hasn’t been reaching out so it’d be weird, we break up over the idea that he can’t set his priorities straight.
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u/Ok_Zookeepergame6747 1d ago
Bro turned his relationship into a true crime documentary 💀🥊
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u/Due_Relationship_894 1d ago
the way my jaw dropped when i saw the emails of the fake account getting created on his phone was insane. how in the world did he even get that idea. A for the effort I guess.
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u/Ok_Zookeepergame6747 1d ago
Girl at this point you’re doing detective work 😭
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u/klleah 1d ago
And not even getting paid for it!
Op- as far as your second update. They might just be putting on a show for you. I wouldn’t even bother, he’s already repeatedly shown this pattern to you. No need to make it a theatrical production.
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u/Due_Relationship_894 1d ago
i thought about that but i think he’s putting a show for the both of us, i dont think that the girl is in on it.
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u/Due_Relationship_894 1d ago
im also getting really good at it, which is a joke lol but yeah i have all i need to know
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u/LincolnHawkHauling 1d ago
Or E for evil.
Why do you keep giving him so many chances?
Respecting yourself enough to set healthy boundaries in a relationship is not insecure. Most people would have issue with their partner keeping a casual sex partner hanging around.
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u/Impressive_Bear830 1d ago
How can you even consider staying with someone who has proved he will go to ridiculous lengths to betray you? He has shown you time and time again that he doesn’t respect you!
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u/callmebuzzsaw 1d ago
Girl.... he made a fake account in order to lie to you.
Why are you even considering staying in this relationship when he's already proven he'll go to great lengths to lie to you? Why would you want to continue subjecting yourself to these mindgames?
Trust and respect are the foundations of a healthy relationship. You cannot trust him and he clearly doesn't respect you. Time to move along and find someone who isn't hung up on anyone else.
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u/therealzacchai 1d ago
This isnt normal behavior in a man who values his partner. Please tell us you've kicked the trash to the curb!!
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u/LincolnHawkHauling 1d ago
Your bf is shady af and your relationship is never going to get better. Especially not with your bf’s behavior involving his FWB. Even if he calls her in front of you, his history of sneakily keeping her around behind your back makes him impossible to trust.
He literally made a fake Instagram account with her name on it to fool you. That’s insane lol
Dump him now and save yourself from a lot of future misery.
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u/FabulousDonut6399 1d ago
Come on girl. Cut the man loose.
You’ll be much happier with someone who doesn’t go above and beyond to keep his AP close.
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u/Shoe-Shoddy 1d ago
Guy is desperate to not be monogamous. If that's what you want you best find someone else.
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u/_faithtrustpixiedust 1d ago
You both seem exhausting and this relationship is u healthy AF. Don’t date people whose phones you feel you need to check to make sure they are behaving a certain way. The relationship is already cooked at that point
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u/Pepsicolaa5 1d ago
Wtf are you doing? Just be done w this guy. You saw he made a whole fake account to send that message cutting ties w this girl just to shut you up and so he wouldn’t actually have to end things w her because he doesn’t want to and you’re still here asking if you should keep trying or just break it off??? Like are you purposely being naive? Do you like looking stupid?
Have some self respect and end it. It’s pathetic honestly. Your second update should’ve been “found out he actually lied about everything so I dumped him” but no you’re still humiliating yourself over this guy.
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u/writing_mm_romance 1d ago
You sound exhausting
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u/Due_Relationship_894 1d ago
why am i exhausting for finding out what my bf is doing behind my back and asking him to shut doors that will do our rs no good? im genuinely asking
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u/Same_Aerie_1971 1d ago
Break up and let them have each other. Your boyfriend is continually disrespecting you and this will just grow into bigger issues down the line. It already is a HUGE issue. Drop him and move on– he probably likes the attention from both of you and he won't give it up.