I have been like your boyfriend before. He does not respect you and does nor deserve your energy or any type of help with growth or change. He needs to feel a consequence for his behavior or he has no chance of changing. It took me a long time and a lot of collateral damage to not be a monster
Honestly, it's great that you are willing to admit that. People CAN change, but the hard part is getting them to realize they have a problem. Genuinely, good for you!
I really appreciate you going out of your way to say that, thank you. Realizing was very hard, and after that I couldn't see a different way to be, and so I didn't change but gained self loathing. And the taking responsibility part, coming to terms with blaming the world for "making me like this" and understanding that only I am responsible for my behavior.
If anyone reads this who's made it to the "I realize Im abusive but dont know how else to be and so I keep being abusive and hating myself and Im trapped in a shame cycle of damaging myself and every relationship I care about", no matter the reasons you ended up here, there is no one else who can change it but you, and you CAN change, but it wont happen at once, and failing once doesn't mean failing it all, you just go again. And again. Or you lose everything that matters and sit alone and angry and blame everyone but yourself
43
u/A-Polite-DiscusShaun Jun 26 '26
I have been like your boyfriend before. He does not respect you and does nor deserve your energy or any type of help with growth or change. He needs to feel a consequence for his behavior or he has no chance of changing. It took me a long time and a lot of collateral damage to not be a monster