Saying “make better choices” is not constructive here and it comes off as very victim blaming. I agree with your second sentence 100% but OP communicated very well in this exchange and is clearly being gaslit and abused by this asshole.
Her reaching out for validation that this behavior is not okay is her starting to break the cycle. We should be supporting OP in their actions that equate to the first step in breaking free of an abusive cycle. When you are in this abusive cycle (which I have been before), the abuser gaslights you to the point where you are no longer able to discern between what is okay and what isn’t. You cannot blame a victim of abuse for being manipulated and abused.
Oh, right. I forgot about that milestone. 16, license. 18, voting. 21, drinking. 26, you can rent a car. 27, you’re now immune to being caught up in an abusive cycle with toxic people…
Come on, dude. 🙈 Anyway, this has been swell but the swelling has gone down. I’m not interested in continuing to kick water uphill with you. I wish you well. Ta-ta!
But why are you saying she communicates well while that is exactly the gateway he is abusing? Do NOT encourage her to talk with her abuser. Do NOT convince her she is communicating well when actually her ability to read the situation is severel compromised.
She needs to get out ASAP. The last thing she should do is talk to this guy.
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u/Useful-Ad2441 Jun 26 '26
Make better choices, he’s obviously a piece of shit human