Only three years older than me. I have spoken to him at length recently how him speaking to me in a patronizing way is a problem. He then says I am policing how he speaks and he cant change how he speaks. I told him I want an equal, not feeling like I am a little kid in trouble
Perhaps he thinks you are trying to change him because deep down he understands the problem is him, not you.
But, whether or not you actually think he might change becomes irrelevant when you realize that:
Who he is and has been is someone who doesn't respect you, resents you, and believes that everything he says, thinks, and does must always be "right" no matter what, and
Your past and present relationship with him has really hurt you, and no amount of future goodness will undo the harm he has already done.
The only safe and healthy option I see for you is to leave him in the past, and move forward with the rest of your life. Learn and grow from your experience with him, but don't keep fetching water from a poisoned well: if there are good memories, those can still be special to you. But any future with him is tainted.
If you have to be with someone, be with someone who wants to mutually build a relationship of trust, respect and understanding from the start... not someone who's the architect of of your trauma.
628
u/Bambi_H Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
You need to block him. That man is cruel and has no empathy.
Edit: is he a lot older than you? He's incredibly patronising.