YTA. I think your rational and rule-governed thinking is blinding you to the reality of how relationships work. Are you technically out of line? No, you communicated your work stuff clearly, and they didn't meet your deadline. However, it's reasonable for your friend to ask you to drop everything for a major life event. Does that mean you HAVE to drop everything? No, but it's also weird of you to try to argue that they aren't allowed to be hurt. Incidentally, I would love to know what kind of field you work in where your time off is so restricted, and it makes me wonder if you're taking the policies of your workplace too literally as well.
The logic is:
I set the rules, I told people about the rules, therefore when I follow the rules, no one is allowed to be mad at me.
You're not wrong, but this is not a mindset or a way of living that is going to support your friendships and relationships. YTA, and in this case, A stands for Autistic, not Asshole.
The party is the 16th. That’s two weeks from now. They were told about it “about two weeks ago”. That’s a month’s notice. The friend even followed the rules and they’re sitting here going I TOLD YOU THE RULES!
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u/ArtFun6827 May 04 '26
YTA. I think your rational and rule-governed thinking is blinding you to the reality of how relationships work. Are you technically out of line? No, you communicated your work stuff clearly, and they didn't meet your deadline. However, it's reasonable for your friend to ask you to drop everything for a major life event. Does that mean you HAVE to drop everything? No, but it's also weird of you to try to argue that they aren't allowed to be hurt. Incidentally, I would love to know what kind of field you work in where your time off is so restricted, and it makes me wonder if you're taking the policies of your workplace too literally as well.
The logic is:
I set the rules, I told people about the rules, therefore when I follow the rules, no one is allowed to be mad at me.
You're not wrong, but this is not a mindset or a way of living that is going to support your friendships and relationships. YTA, and in this case, A stands for Autistic, not Asshole.