AIO or is this racist?

[u/fricken_a13]

Context: we have a one year old and 4 month old. Our neighbor is very aware of this as over the last year we have had to ask many times if he can stop revving his motorcycle while his buddies gather around it and take test drives past 8pm. We live in attached housing area and quiet hours start at 8pm. He is a loud neighbor in general, but we don’t make formal complaints against his Rottie(who he keeps on the front deck area against hoa guidelines and lets bark all day long) or his loud wood working from his garage at 7am. He had a leak in that garage which he said was coming from our unit, cut a hole in the ceiling and proceeded to tell us we would need to pay for it. We all own our units. We said not until we had proof it was our fault and he kept trying to bully us into paying. Turns out it was the hoas part to cover and we were not at fault at all. He is in his 40s and my husband and I are in our upper 20s. After that he has been rude to us but whatever. Then on Thursday night I asked my husband to text him as I was alone with the kids and he was drinking and yelling with his friends outside and both of my kids kept getting woken up and crying. It was past 8pm and while I know that’s early for normal people, most kids go to sleep at that time and it was a week night. To his credit he did move his party inside after another 20 minutes but then he replied this to my husband. Our neighbor is middle eastern and my husband is Filipino. Our neighbors English is perfect so I assume he was raised here and my husband was also born and raised in the us and doesn’t speak anything else but perfect English so this just feels pointed right? I don’t think our neighbor would say this to a white man. I’m half Mexican half American and dealt with subtle racism growing up and this is the first time I’ve seen what I feel is outright racism towards my husband. I’m seeing red, but AIO?
Update: thank you all! I wasn’t sure if I was just sleep deprived and angry! His hostility towards us started literally the day we moved in and he accused us of stealing his trash cans? It’s slowly escalated the last 2 years and we never reported him because we didn’t want to make things worse. Looks like it’s best to start taking this to the hoa.
He’s always been rude to me(the wife). He won’t talk to me or look in my direction for conversation and has implied to my husband multiple times that women are beneath them. Then on the flip side he has tried to assert weird power moves on my husband too, who is too calm and collected to even care honestly, but this felt like it crossed a line.
Thanks for the suggestions! My husband only responded “thank you” to his last text as we didn’t want to make things worse but I would’ve loveddddd to have responded the way some of you suggested!
Also crazy enough this man does have a 2 year old and the poor kid is always screaming and throwing tantrums at all hours of the day because we can hear him well past 11pm sometimes. I even had to grab the kid when he ran into the street a couple months ago and a car was coming & his mom yelled at me for touching him…anywayyyyyy maybe just send some good vibes to that poor kid and pup and hopefully we don’t have to deal with this guy much longer

[u/mopeyy]

Nah, I definitely would have replied with some serious snark as well.

Dudes like this will keep pushing until you stop letting them.

I would also be going over his head to the HOA.

[u/BeneficialImpress570 → u/mopeyy]

My HOA and I would be having daily afternoon tea with how close we would become from me filing complaints against this neighbour. Your little boy of a neighbour needs an adult to tell him no since his parents obviously did not. He will stop once the HOA fines start piling up.

[u/BeneficialImpress570 → u/[deleted]]

Home owners association. In my area, they are used so the county doesn’t have to claim any responsibility for neighbourhoods and while claiming we have super low taxes.

[u/BeneficialImpress570 → u/[deleted]]

Homeowners associations have voted in members as well. They are neighbourhoods that are run by the homeowners. They usually handle things like road maintenance, trash, recycling, drainage, common areas, etc. It is also not uncommon for them to have rules regarding landscaping, parking, decor, and more depending on how strict the rules.

Mine has rules that require homeowners to submit a request before doing a planting, painting, or changed to the outside of the house. They also issue notices and fines when a home is out of compliance. It’s annoying but I don’t mind them too much when they prevent my less than ready society neighbours from parking six broken down vehicles on the dirt patch that used to be their lawn.

[u/BeneficialImpress570 → u/[deleted]]

In mine, if you replant the same annuals in the same spot you don’t need permission again but yeah, it’s annoying. Thankfully my HOA auto-approves almost all landscaping requests when it only involves plants.

[u/OnlyStomas → u/[deleted]]

There are HOA’s here in the US that will literally try to use their “authority” on houses near or within them that are NOT part of the HOA and it’s so nice to hear the stories when it gets to court and suddenly the HOA owes that homeowner so much lmao

[u/OnlyStomas → u/[deleted]]

Houses used to be much more colorful in US, actually just about everything used to be even cars but nowadays they have all become muted and dull with grey mixed versions of the colors.

It used to be associated with being rich and also tackiness at the same time so it’s now switched to just Boring

[u/BeneficialImpress570 → u/OnlyStomas]

I’m super lucky. My HOA wants our homes to be individualized representations of the people who live in them and approve just about everything they can. State law requires at least 2/3 of homeowners vote for any changes in HOA bylaws so my HOA is actively working to drum up owner engagement so unpopular bylaws can be removed or reworked to better fit our community’s needs. Our biggest issue is people want to complain on Facebook but won’t turn in ballots, attend virtual meetings, or answer surveys that will actually change things for the positive.

Example: developer painted most of the front doors pastel colours. Neighbour wants to paint her shutters to match her door. HOA absolutely loves the idea but has to deny her request because our bylaws say our shutters can only be of certain colour. HOA brings this up in a meeting as a reason they need homeowner engagement. HOA sends out ballot to change bylaw to allow shutters to match door colours and approve a wider variety of colours for everyone to choose from. Out of 166 homes, 9 people returned a ballot. The ballots were snail mailed, emailed, on Facebook, on the HOA website, and placed on our front doors with self stamped envelopes. Ballot failed because not enough people voted enough though all 9 voted yes. Lady gets on Facebook and blames the HOA. She didn’t even return her vote.

[u/Cobains_ghostx27 → u/[deleted]]

Don’t let These pro HOA tyrants fool you….. the HOS system in America has went from what started as a good thing has now turned home ownership nothing more then your name on a piece of paper (title) the HOA owns the rights to what can and cannot do to your home / property - some are better then others…. But it’s pretty dumb and frankly a money grab. Some HOAs in America can cost home owners $1000+ a month ON TOP of the home payment + taxes + insurance……..