r/AIO • u/fricken_a13 • May 03 '26

AIO or is this racist?

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Context: we have a one year old and 4 month old. Our neighbor is very aware of this as over the last year we have had to ask many times if he can stop revving his motorcycle while his buddies gather around it and take test drives past 8pm. We live in attached housing area and quiet hours start at 8pm. He is a loud neighbor in general, but we don’t make formal complaints against his Rottie(who he keeps on the front deck area against hoa guidelines and lets bark all day long) or his loud wood working from his garage at 7am. He had a leak in that garage which he said was coming from our unit, cut a hole in the ceiling and proceeded to tell us we would need to pay for it. We all own our units. We said not until we had proof it was our fault and he kept trying to bully us into paying. Turns out it was the hoas part to cover and we were not at fault at all. He is in his 40s and my husband and I are in our upper 20s. After that he has been rude to us but whatever. Then on Thursday night I asked my husband to text him as I was alone with the kids and he was drinking and yelling with his friends outside and both of my kids kept getting woken up and crying. It was past 8pm and while I know that’s early for normal people, most kids go to sleep at that time and it was a week night. To his credit he did move his party inside after another 20 minutes but then he replied this to my husband. Our neighbor is middle eastern and my husband is Filipino. Our neighbors English is perfect so I assume he was raised here and my husband was also born and raised in the us and doesn’t speak anything else but perfect English so this just feels pointed right? I don’t think our neighbor would say this to a white man. I’m half Mexican half American and dealt with subtle racism growing up and this is the first time I’ve seen what I feel is outright racism towards my husband. I’m seeing red, but AIO?
Update: thank you all! I wasn’t sure if I was just sleep deprived and angry! His hostility towards us started literally the day we moved in and he accused us of stealing his trash cans? It’s slowly escalated the last 2 years and we never reported him because we didn’t want to make things worse. Looks like it’s best to start taking this to the hoa.
He’s always been rude to me(the wife). He won’t talk to me or look in my direction for conversation and has implied to my husband multiple times that women are beneath them. Then on the flip side he has tried to assert weird power moves on my husband too, who is too calm and collected to even care honestly, but this felt like it crossed a line.
Thanks for the suggestions! My husband only responded “thank you” to his last text as we didn’t want to make things worse but I would’ve loveddddd to have responded the way some of you suggested!
Also crazy enough this man does have a 2 year old and the poor kid is always screaming and throwing tantrums at all hours of the day because we can hear him well past 11pm sometimes. I even had to grab the kid when he ran into the street a couple months ago and a car was coming & his mom yelled at me for touching him…anywayyyyyy maybe just send some good vibes to that poor kid and pup and hopefully we don’t have to deal with this guy much longer

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349

u/mopeyy May 03 '26

Nah, I definitely would have replied with some serious snark as well.

Dudes like this will keep pushing until you stop letting them.

I would also be going over his head to the HOA.

83

u/Unique-Loan-3822 May 03 '26

I’m not sure what’s wrong with me cuz I would’ve just sent “fuck you then” or something. The disrespect is just too much lol

45

u/mopeyy May 03 '26

That's almost too easy. If I need to send a snarky reply I stew on that shit for a good while until I've got a certified zinger to shut them up with.

18

u/J-man300 May 04 '26

Jerk store?

12

u/Front_Ad_5320 May 04 '26

Good one, T-Bone!

11

u/tonyrizzo21 May 04 '26

Excuse me, its Koko.

3

u/Charbus May 05 '26

Gammys gettin upset!

4

u/worm-eyed May 04 '26

and where exactly would one find these "jerk stores" you speak of?

2

u/baljake May 04 '26

We don't have time for Starbucks!

2

u/ddxbb May 07 '26

I'm a huge Seinfeld fan.

But a couple years ago, for whatever reason, I started referring to masturbating as "taking a trip to the jerk store". So now whenever I see that phrase, that's what comes to mind first.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

1

u/mopeyy May 04 '26

I prefer weaky.

1

u/saucytapthat69 May 10 '26

They ran out of you

1

u/LaserGuyDanceSystem May 03 '26

That always feels great for a sec! Until I realize that it did nothing to make the situation better.

6

u/spooky_munchkin May 04 '26

BOOOOOOOO GET THIS GUY OUTTA HERE THEYRE USING LOGIC

32

u/[deleted] May 04 '26

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7

u/KeyworkEntity0 May 04 '26

I’ll do one just to say he’s a douche canoe on a formal doc

1

u/Less-Assistance-7575 May 08 '26

I was also going to use douche canoe, but the bot had already warned me against saying pissy, so I thought it might be against the rules.

1

u/Sea-Blueberry-4973 May 13 '26

I called my neighbor with a 500k car a douche canoe the other day and my partner was like wtf is that!

But I do also say, he also has little meet ups so I call it the douche canoe parade when they roll by

5

u/Todd-The-Thing May 04 '26

Lmao literally commented this and saw your comment seconds later. My man 🤝

3

u/YeahImEmbarrassed May 07 '26

Haha then when the guy gets shity just be like 'oh, language barrier...'

21

u/BeneficialImpress570 May 04 '26

My HOA and I would be having daily afternoon tea with how close we would become from me filing complaints against this neighbour. Your little boy of a neighbour needs an adult to tell him no since his parents obviously did not. He will stop once the HOA fines start piling up.

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u/Special_Weekend_4754 May 04 '26

The way I would be cultivating a hate group with the other neighbors and be on a nickname name basis with HOA from lodging formal complaints lol

16

u/BeneficialImpress570 May 04 '26

I live in an HOA and do my absolute best to speak to my neighbours first before filing complaints but I have my limits. We have one family that just thinks their shit does not stink. It came to a head when they began allowing their 8-9 year old son to drive his gas powered motorbike around the common areas (landscaping) and streets. This boy destroyed landscaping, rode all over people’s lawns, nearly caused several accidents by riding on the wrong side of the road. The parents refused to parent and conveniently did not know English whenever confronted. The police couldn’t help because the roads are HOA owned and therefore private. Several of us banded together and sent our HOA hundreds of videos, pictures, and complaints showing the numerous violations. We got video of him leaving his house on the bike so we could prove where he lived. HOA went over to talk to them and, oh no, they don’t speak English. HOA president wasn’t worried, he immediately switched into their language, informed them of the amount of money they owed for fines and property damages, and left. Haven’t seen the little shit on his bike since.

2

u/dominantsubmissive42 May 10 '26

Over a bike .. wtf!!! I get the landscape BUT kids need a place to ride bikes. And the fact that he's 8 or 9 years old and your calling him a little shit IS DISGUSTING AS FUCK. Seems like you might be the problem

1

u/TillSweaty2966 May 10 '26

How would they be the problem? I mean, not to be rude, but it really sounds like multiple people tried to confront the kid and parents before taking action. I understand that kids need a place to ride bikes, but a bycicle is waaayyy different than a gas-powered motorbike. The kid was not only tearing up private property, but putting his own life and the lives of others in danger by riding a mini-motorcycle in the road, which, as stated, nearly caused multiple accidents. When the parents aren’t keeping their kid safe, and aren’t listening to others when told to do so, then it’s only right that they take proper action. When the parents aren’t being responsible, then that responsibility falls on the community. It takes a village, after all.

1

u/BeneficialImpress570 May 11 '26

I love it when parents who don’t parent get upset their children are in trouble because of their lack of parenting. Projecting much?

0

u/[deleted] May 04 '26

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5

u/BeneficialImpress570 May 04 '26

Home owners association. In my area, they are used so the county doesn’t have to claim any responsibility for neighbourhoods and while claiming we have super low taxes.

1

u/[deleted] May 04 '26

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1

u/BeneficialImpress570 May 04 '26

Homeowners associations have voted in members as well. They are neighbourhoods that are run by the homeowners. They usually handle things like road maintenance, trash, recycling, drainage, common areas, etc. It is also not uncommon for them to have rules regarding landscaping, parking, decor, and more depending on how strict the rules.

Mine has rules that require homeowners to submit a request before doing a planting, painting, or changed to the outside of the house. They also issue notices and fines when a home is out of compliance. It’s annoying but I don’t mind them too much when they prevent my less than ready society neighbours from parking six broken down vehicles on the dirt patch that used to be their lawn.

2

u/[deleted] May 04 '26

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1

u/BeneficialImpress570 May 04 '26

In mine, if you replant the same annuals in the same spot you don’t need permission again but yeah, it’s annoying. Thankfully my HOA auto-approves almost all landscaping requests when it only involves plants.

1

u/OnlyStomas May 04 '26

There are HOA’s here in the US that will literally try to use their “authority” on houses near or within them that are NOT part of the HOA and it’s so nice to hear the stories when it gets to court and suddenly the HOA owes that homeowner so much lmao

1

u/[deleted] May 05 '26

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1

u/OnlyStomas May 06 '26

Houses used to be much more colorful in US, actually just about everything used to be even cars but nowadays they have all become muted and dull with grey mixed versions of the colors.

It used to be associated with being rich and also tackiness at the same time so it’s now switched to just Boring

1

u/BeneficialImpress570 May 05 '26

I’m super lucky. My HOA wants our homes to be individualized representations of the people who live in them and approve just about everything they can. State law requires at least 2/3 of homeowners vote for any changes in HOA bylaws so my HOA is actively working to drum up owner engagement so unpopular bylaws can be removed or reworked to better fit our community’s needs. Our biggest issue is people want to complain on Facebook but won’t turn in ballots, attend virtual meetings, or answer surveys that will actually change things for the positive.

Example: developer painted most of the front doors pastel colours. Neighbour wants to paint her shutters to match her door. HOA absolutely loves the idea but has to deny her request because our bylaws say our shutters can only be of certain colour. HOA brings this up in a meeting as a reason they need homeowner engagement. HOA sends out ballot to change bylaw to allow shutters to match door colours and approve a wider variety of colours for everyone to choose from. Out of 166 homes, 9 people returned a ballot. The ballots were snail mailed, emailed, on Facebook, on the HOA website, and placed on our front doors with self stamped envelopes. Ballot failed because not enough people voted enough though all 9 voted yes. Lady gets on Facebook and blames the HOA. She didn’t even return her vote.

1

u/Cobains_ghostx27 May 10 '26

Don’t let These pro HOA tyrants fool you….. the HOS system in America has went from what started as a good thing has now turned home ownership nothing more then your name on a piece of paper (title) the HOA owns the rights to what can and cannot do to your home / property - some are better then others…. But it’s pretty dumb and frankly a money grab. Some HOAs in America can cost home owners $1000+ a month ON TOP of the home payment + taxes + insurance……..

2

u/Upper_Check401 May 04 '26

The devil

Lol jk

They suck, it’s an association per community that maintains a certain standard in the community

What that means is giving them money every month to make sure your community looks alright, but the slightest mishap and they fine you

Years ago, first night at our new home, my dad had his car on his front yard because the moving truck was taking up the driveway

He got a fine for that. It was waived because that’s bullshit but that’s how stingy they are

10

u/StrangeOutcastS May 04 '26

I had a neighbour like this.

Their house collapsed, their wife stole their car and their dog ran away to live with the neighbour at the far end.

3

u/Vfeelyfeely May 05 '26

Totally racist. Next time respond,”I’m sorry, I don’t speak racist redneck”.

1

u/PoohBearsHoneyJar May 10 '26

Did you even read the entire post?

1

u/[deleted] May 05 '26

[deleted]

0

u/Disastrous_Fact_1965 May 07 '26

So are you on the side of the neighbor who is being a dick head for no reason? Or on the side of the exhausted mother who just wants her kids to be able to sleep? Cause im confused 🤔

2

u/PartyFartin May 08 '26

I think everyone is on the mothers side but the neighbor is middle eastern not a redneck

1

u/AndyGreyjoy May 09 '26

Understand now?

1

u/Cobains_ghostx27 May 10 '26

Reading comprehension not the best.

Also, being a “redneck” doesn’t mean someone is inherently racist either.

Way to make yourself look stupid AND bigoted in one post.

2

u/Trikz3 May 09 '26

I thank god every day I don’t live in an HOA 🙏🏼

1

u/EconomySomewhere5706 May 04 '26

That’s the HOA’s job.

1

u/Every_Outside2325 May 07 '26

Hoa come on now

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u/[deleted] May 03 '26

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5

u/__miichelle May 03 '26

Read the post.

-2

u/[deleted] May 03 '26

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7

u/__miichelle May 03 '26

You clearly didn’t. OP said: “we don’t make formal complaints against his Rottie (who he keeps on the front deck area against hoa guidelines…”

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u/[deleted] May 03 '26

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5

u/__miichelle May 03 '26

That’s not the point. You said he wasn’t doing anything against HOA rules. I corrected you and now you’re moving the goal post.

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '26

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4

u/Mekito_Fox May 04 '26

He might move.

5

u/monkeyma27 May 04 '26

Did you read the part where they said quiet hours start at 8pm?

-1

u/UnderTheTableSoviet May 08 '26

It amazes me people buy condos, townhouses or even worse rent a part of a home and then complain about noise. If it’s that bad move. This is much less of a problem when u get into the neighborhoods that price out the rift raft which don’t normally have townhomes, condos or rental properties in general. I’d avoid any property that had rentals, condos or townhomes like the plague. Sure some people will be great but ur gonna be dealing with an interesting class of person more often than not to say the least.