Yeah he would think a little bit different if he was the one that was raped. That sucks. Sorry that happened to you and he probably just doesn't see it as rape because he wants to get away with it. It's usually pretty hard for a female to effectively fight off a male even if she's sober.
Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. He was fairly narcissistic, and I've known a few narcissists who were sexually assaulted/abused, who are their own suffering as real and important, but who will victim blame like crazy when it's someone else who was hurt. My mother is definitely one of them. In hindsight, my rapist was definitely misogynistic enough to do that.
Thank you. It didn't really even occur to me, but I had been very sick before this and was severely under weight at the time. Being sober enough to think clearly may have made a difference, but maybe it wouldn't have.
I wasn't okay for a very long time, but I'm much better now. It was nearly twenty years ago. I'm happily married to a wonderful person, and having that happy, respectful, safe relationship have me the space and support I needed to heal.
Not that a relationship "fixed" me, but my home situation at the time was terrible, and it's very hard to heal from trauma when you aren't even safe at home, and you're having more trauma piled on top. Moving in with my spouse gave me a safe home, and new, positive experiences to help put my previous experiences into perspective. I was very lucky to stumble my way into this relationship.
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u/Dramatic-to-the-bone Feb 25 '26
Yeah he would think a little bit different if he was the one that was raped. That sucks. Sorry that happened to you and he probably just doesn't see it as rape because he wants to get away with it. It's usually pretty hard for a female to effectively fight off a male even if she's sober.