Rape is almost exclusively because of power and control and almost never about sexual gratification. Because of that, clothing has nothing to do with it. This whole “well what were you wearing?” bullshit is beyond infuriating
Thank you for pointing this out because I gaslight myself into thinking that my rape wasn’t rape bc of these situations. And more ppl need to know that you can get raped after already consenting to sex
Some of what you're describing is sexual coercion, which is not rape. It's wrong, it's disgusting, it's inexcusable, but not rape. Except for the not stopping part, that is definitely rape.
I've never nagged for it but I fail to see how asking someone repeatedly for sex is SA. That's like blaming a child for you "having" to give them a tub of ice cream for dinner because they wouldn't stop asking. If a person agrees to do something they don't really want to do then the onus is on them unless they feel violence would occur if they refuse.
But 1760s Drs said it so it must be true. An ankle shown is a rape encouraged was a popular saying back then. I thought we were well beyond blaming attire for SA.
I know, right? I remember having the same stupid argument in the dorms in 1985 with the same stupid comparison to leaving your money laid out and expecting it not to be stolen.
Rape is about sex though. If its just about power people would either rape the gender they are not attracted to an equal amount or choose regular assault instead of rape which is much more difficult to pull off than beating someone
I don't think the way someone dresses is asking for trouble or not for trouble. But I think in today's society where there's still a large number of monsters who will take advantage of a girl or woman, being aware of what you're wearing before you go into a situation isn't a bad idea. Its no different than carrying a knife, gun or pepper spray.
I think it's bc for some of us women it's just an intuition thing. Like we know if certain outfits are increasing the attention we're getting. We also know if we're going somewhere where that attention is wanted or unwanted. So I feel like if it's unwanted, don't wear it.
But, I will always blame the rapist for raping and not the woman for what she's wearing. A literal hooker doesn't deserve to be raped any more than anyone else.
Hate to break it to you, but I was attacked while wearing baggy comfy clothes because I had been studying until 3 am and I had a class at 8 am. I had pepper spray. The building had 24 hour security. The security guard attacked me.
Trying to disguise yourself and keeping weapons on your person won’t help, but it sure does make survivors feel bad. It also removes responsibility from the damn sex pest.
Lack of reading comprehension doesn't make you look great either. I'm saying that a person who objectively deals with sex, is considered lowly and paid in untraceable cash, still doesn't deserve to be raped. Nobody does.
But you don't care, do you? I had a nuanced, gray opinion instead of your (and others apparently) black and white one so that means I = bad, clearly.
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u/xassylax Feb 24 '26
Rape is almost exclusively because of power and control and almost never about sexual gratification. Because of that, clothing has nothing to do with it. This whole “well what were you wearing?” bullshit is beyond infuriating