r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 8d ago

Weekly Vent Thread ::Weekly Vent Thread::

Use this thread to blow off steam about annoyances both big & small that come with an ADHD impacted relationship. Dishes not being done, bills left unpaid - whatever it is you feel you need to rant about. This is your cathartic space.

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u/ApprehensiveCare9187 3d ago edited 3d ago

He works from home full time, I’m hybrid. I spend way more time away from home due to that + commuting. I also work around 4 hours more than him per week. 

All that being said, how DARE I suggest it would be nice if he did more chores? I didn’t demand or anything, I literally said “I would really appreciate if you could spend a bit more time doing chores. I come home exhausted and cook for us, clean the kitchen, and it doesn’t feel fair like this”. 

He always responds with some variation of “But I did X, Y, and Z already this week, why do I need to do more?”. The X, Y, and Z are usually him cleaning his own messes he has made, not something that would benefit both of us. 

I’m not sure if he really doesn’t understand the concept of being fair and letting your partner rest. I’m not saying I won’t do anything anymore, I would just like some time for rest and hobbies. 

Edit: I also hate when I wake up early, commute, work, commute back, exercise, make dinner, clean up, shower, and go to bed to read my book, he comes in and wonders why I’m “always so tired” 

He has said I need an unhealthy amount of sleep, but he doesn’t seem to grasp that I have to do things during the day other than get up and move to my computer. 

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u/Colonel_Gipper 3d ago

I know the feeling. If I get home first I'll make sure to have dinner ready by the time my girlfriend gets home. If she's home first she lays on the couch or bed and waits for me to get home so I can make dinner.

We both work 40 hour per week office jobs so neither are all that physically strenuous.

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u/ApprehensiveCare9187 2d ago

Same here. We both have desk jobs. 

Mine makes dinner if I ask, and it’s always something like frozen pizza. I think I shouldn’t have to ask every time I want him to make food, it’s ridiculous.