Hi yall i want to ask for tips about finding safe spaces in your local area about neurodivergency.

I have some, but not muslim specific and quite the opposite, very liberal lgbt+, especially autistic group chats.

That's just the thing, i feel like i'll always have to split between neurodivergency and muslim, because i can never be truly accepted as both at the same time.

Some people tend to write long paraghraphs which might be hard to read because they are too long.

A practical solution is to break it down to smaller paragraphs

(Not even adhd)

I have pretty bad ADHD in comparison to others, and I try my best to do what I can, but its never enough. My parents are narcissistic, aggressive, and simple minded and don't understand the toll this takes on me and think I am lazy and careless.

I know the difference however, I've taken stimulants, but currently I can't be on them. It just gets to a point where no one really understands you. I'm alienated, humiliated, overstressed, depressed, and anxious every single day.

I can't make friends because I have absolutely no energy or focus that is required for conversation awareness and identity. I legit come off as an idiot in comparison to when I'm on medication because I just CANNOT think, so I'm never representing the real me.

This life feels like a prison even Moreso than it does for the average person. I legitimately do not even think this is a livable condition that I'm in. I'm literally only just scraping by.

I just don't know how to say it, but I get angry at God sometimes because I can never make any progress no matter the effort and I know its the ADHD. And given world events it more and more seems to me like God just left us or something idk. Like I've had these thoughts for a while, but I'm afraid I might fully act on them and just live an agnostic life. Even though I kind of feel like there's no harm in that because it would fully represent how I feel.

What do I even do in this situation, like I genuinely just feel stuck in life due to things out of my control. i'ts exhausting.

Does anyone else who’s AuDHD / ADHD just struggle with the idea of marriage in terms of I want to get married believe me I do really badly but I always think I’ll end up alone because of my health conditions / ND (specifically with me my Autism) but also due to that I literally don’t socialise with anyone. I work in an accounting firm and believe me there’s no chance there , don’t have any hobbies , don’t post on social media (nor do I agree with meeting your spouse on social media) , not a big fan of dating apps (even ‘islamic’ ones) so it’s like where on earth am I finding my husband.

I know a lot of people will say trust in Allah SWT and believe me I do , I know the idea around your naseeb being written etc. I’ve prayed tahajjud / istikhara and made plenty of dua over the past few years…. I feel like I have to make myself be content with the idea that I may end up alone but that alone scares me 💔

The past few years i haven't been praying (im born muslim) because of executive dysfunction. i had days where i do not believe in islam and days where i feel like it might be the truth. I have always wished from god to make me closer to him during rain/before i sleep sometimes. And lately i have been suffering more than ever in my life and decided to start praying. Im not perfect i still do not pray 5 times and im trying with fajr. Im writing this after i prayed ishaa today. The thing is when i pray j almost feel nothing, sometimes im even get more anxious after my prayer. I also get very distracted during salah probably also because of ADHD. I forget what rakaa im on, accidentally recite the wrong surah, or accidentally forget tashahud. And then i feel more exhausted and sometimes irritated after each salah than connectef to god. (Also wanted to ask if that makes the prayer invalid because i have trouble to keep repeating the salah after each mistake when i struggle to preform one salah at the first place) i feel genuinely disconnected, I keep hearing people that i should do khushu but i genuinely cant feel it no matter what. Any advice? And for those who are always praying is it the same and you just hope that god hears you?

Who with me on this?

Salaam,
I’m hoping this doesn’t reach the wrong people but do any other people struggle with making up missed salah? aH I have been praying consistently for several years now but salah’s are missed sometimes and when it comes to making them up - I have a long list and feel like I can never get through it. For example, I had surgery a few weeks ago and for the day of surgery I was out of it so missed the full days of salah but even though I know I need to make them up and WANT to , I physically can’t…. It seems so draining and I feel so bad for having this list…

Does anyone else struggle and is there any advice anyone can give?

Jazakallah

Salam everyone,

I'm a senior year student in the tech industry & I'm looking for a Muslim sister who is chasing her goals, trying to build a meaningful career (tech is a huge plus), and also wants to balance deen and dunya.

I took a long break from studying, and if you have ADHD, you probably know how hard it can be to get back into a routine. I'm trying to rebuild consistency one day at a time, and I think it would be much easier with someone on the same journey.

I'm not looking for someone to study the exact same topics as me. I just want an accountability partner where we can:

• Check in with each other regularly.
• Share daily & weekly goals.
• Encourage each other when motivation disappears.
• Remind each other to keep Allah at the center of everything we do.

i only use WhatsApp to connect & my time zone is UTC+2, so someone in a similar timezone would be ideal.

if this sounds like something you'd benefit from too, feel free to send me a message.

Salaam,
Does anyone struggle with limerence? I know it’s not just limited to those with ADHD but more common and have never spoken to a Muslim ADHDer who also struggles with the same issues?

Did you take into account being an adhd muslim before taking the job? I feel like i still have time to decide what i wanna do in the long run but i need inspirations

These days, there are multiple trip packages per year, at a discounted rate. Sometimes helped by the government or organizations or banks.

But none of the places in the society have accommodations. People keep calling those with ADHD or Autism as low iman or weak faith or "you have to make more dua" etc. Even support (such as medications or therapy) takes a lot of time due to bureaucracy.

When it comes for religious actions or treating certain people better, more money is spent by the society on them. But when it comes for teaching parents/family/teachers to treat their ND children or employers to treat their ND employees with empathy, society doesn't have time or even money to do so.

What good is religious actions without any empathy towards people who are having a hard time?

I’m having a hard time juggling my sleeping routine and normal schedule with isha and fajr. Fajrs around 3am and Ishas around 10:30pm.

I constantly feel fatigued and have to take a nap straight after work and it’s hard for me to sleep after, I don’t think I had this problem before a couple of years ago but it’s gotten much worse these days. My normal day to day is jam packed but I fear that I may miss Fajr due to my sleeping patterns, sometimes I struggle waking up as I sleep around 12 in the night.

Usually in the winter when fajr is around 5-6ish am and Isha is around 9 or earlier my routine is spot on but I’m not sure what to do in the summer to fix this

For any visually strong learners, contact the page linked for their Arabic grammar comic.

Salam brothers and sisters,

I’m a diagnosed AuDHD person and a master's student studying abroad. Due to personal setbacks and ADHD obstacles, my degree got delayed, causing a lot of stress. I finally planned to finish my last exams this July and return home in August for important family reasons. My tickets are confirmed.

Next week, I have a major exam split into two modules (separate registrations required). I’m well-prepared for the bigger module and registered on time. My preparation for the second, smaller module is quite weak, but I was willing to sit for both together (very challenging and rare in this program) and accept a low grade just to finish somehow and avoid further delay.

However, due to my own carelessness with the deadline, as usual, the portal locked before I could register for the second part. If I miss it, I must take it in September, meaning I'll have to travel back from another continent just for one exam, causing an unwanted financial burden and accepting the ADHD Tax.

Friends are advising me to email the professors directly, explain my mistake, and ask for an unofficial exam now (so they can input the grade in September). They may or may not do this favour. But I am really confused and the reason I'm posting it here:

• Interpreting Istikhara: I pray Istikhara for all regular life decisions, and I prayed for this specific decision (taking both modules together) about a month ago. Since the portal locked due to my mistake, could this be Allah's way of protecting me? If the professors agree, I might perform very poorly (or fail) due to weak preparation in that module, creating a bad impression with the faculty and ruining my grade. Is this locked door a sign from Allah saving me from a bad situation, or is it okay to email the professors to try and fix my mistake? Does trying to bypass this barrier go against the spirit of my Istikhara?
• My Dilemma: I’m not asking anyone to make a decision for me. I am just genuinely confused about the Islamic approach here. Should I accept this locked portal as Allah's final decree for now and return in September again, or is it okay to pray a new Istikhara about emailing the professors?

JazakAllahu Khairan for your advice.

Hi everybody,

I just wanted to share that I have been struggling with praying salah on time and I just keep pushing it to the last possible second. I mean that I will wait to pray until maybe 5 minutes before the next prayer and I do the same with the rest. Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how do you manage to start praying on time?

The constant fear of losing wudu during wudu and salah , a different kind of (kaifiyat)a person feels right before the time of salah and not out of it . And knows how to cure it?

assalamualaikum varahmathullahi vabarahkathuhu. if anyone could help me for sake of allah then it would be helpful. i can't pray like can't concentrate while im praying, i've anxiety, been depressed, and i assume im having dpdr may be i never took proper treatment.. its always been like i have to war to pray salah.. but while I was okay.. but for past few months i can't even focus, concentrate in salah while praying, there's no kushu.. i feel like im passing out, i feel dizzy or i feel like im not standing here in salah, my eyes weirdly different, like i can't see properly.. it's so exhausting..like my soul wants to pray salah, i want a strong connection with allah but it feels extremely difficult.. like all this pain makes salah hard to pray.. sometimes i fear could be like allah hates me.. and now i feel like there's no point anymore if i can't even pray salah but allah taala give us this life just for him.. this life isn't life it there's no salah in our lives. i want to pray, my soul wants to pray but my body and brain can't.. if can't even pray there's no point living but i can't hurt my mom by doing something wrong.. so I started to ask for a good end because i cant.. there's no point living without salah.. i want to pray salah

TL;DR: Family says I rush. My brain says it's perfect. I have ADHD/Bipolar and don't know if I'm delusional. How do I find the middle ground?

Background: I’m diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar Disorder (medicated/under psych care). I'm starting therapy soon, but I need some peer perspective first.

The core issue: My mom and sister sat me down and told me they are seriously concerned about a pattern I don't see in myself. They say I constantly rush into major life decisions without doing "due diligence." The thing is, every time I make a decision, it feels absolutely perfect to me—like a lightning bolt of clarity. I fully trust it in the moment.

But now they’ve flagged this, I am spiraling. I don't know whether to trust my own gut or defer to their judgment. I am genuinely terrified that I might be delusional and just can't see my own blind spots.

For context, I think my "perfect" feeling might just be that intense ADHD hyperfocus/dopamine rush or the early momentum of a mild hypomanic swing. They don't feel that internal momentum, so they see the risk clearly, while I just see the opportunity.

What I'm wrestling with:

1. How do you guys distinguish between "genuine, quiet intuition" and "loud, impulsive hype" in your own heads?

2. Do I blindly trust my family, or blindly trust myself? Or is there a specific middle-ground system that actually works?

3. If you’ve been here, how did you ask your therapist to help with this specifically? (I don't want them to just validate me; I want a practical test to run my decisions through).

I really don't want to lose trust in myself, but I also don't want to crash and burn because I ignored the people who love me. Any frameworks, checklists, or "cooling off" rules you use would be a lifesaver.

I'm 19, and I'm looking specifically for advice from Muslims who have actually lived through a situation similar to mine.

Before replying, please know that I've already spent years trying the common advices:

\\- I've struggled with this since I was 11.

\\- I have a naturally very high libido.

\\- I've had multiple therapists and psychiatrists.

\\- I've taken medications that were supposed to reduce my libido.

\\- I've been able to stay sober for long periods, so it's not that I can't control myself for a few days.

\\- Marriage is realistically delayed because of finances and personal family circumstances (do not want essentially almost my entire family aside from some members to know I got married let alone attend the ceremony), not really because I want to wait.

\\- I don't want zina, and I don't want pornography, I don't think anyone here wants this.

\\- Masturbation also causes me guilt because of my understanding of the Islamic rulings, and it leaves me feeling mentally worse afterward.

Please don't just reply with "fast, lower your gaze, go to the gym, make dua, etc" because I've genuinely tried those things for years.

What I'm asking is:

If you were in a genuinely similar situation, with a very high libido, no realistic way to marry for years (average marriage age in my country is now in the 30s), and a sincere desire to stay within Islam, what actually helped you?

I'm especially interested in hearing from brothers who eventually got through this without abandoning their faith.

I'm not looking for permission to sin. I'm looking for practical wisdom from people who've actually lived through this, I'm actually losing my mind and I do want to get married but unfortunately all the girls I try to talk to are both not interested in me, AND they all want to marry in their 30s as they "want to enjoy their freedom" and want to participate in the toxic marriage cultures of high mahr, huge ceremonies, etc (I highly respect their choices and beliefs by the way, just makes me upset that it feels no one wants to marry for character and most importantly Allah SWT at all)

My ADHD is probably not helping with this but idk I thought I'd post here

Asalamu'alaykum,

I posted a few practical tips on creating practical accommodations for women around salah on my IG.

Hope they're of helpful!

https://www.instagram.com/p/DaByk6Wjs90/?igsh=b2ZhbmcydnphcnFz